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Re: Cleese

Love it!
----- Original Message -----
From: "David Franzman" <dfranzma@pacbell.net>
To: "Garden" <gardenchat@hort.net>
Sent: Sunday, April 20, 2003 9:18 PM
Subject: [CHAT] Cleese

> Do to overwhelming response (ok, there were three of you) I took into my
> own hands to forward to the group.  I don't forward jokes as a rule but
> because of the magnificent social/political repercussions of our latest
> soire I thought this was relevant.
> DF
> Axis of Evil Wannabes
> by John Cleese
> Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya,
> China,
> and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil,"
> which they
> said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis
> President
> Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.
> Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as
> having, for
> starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil...in their
> dreams!"
> declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best
> evils... best at being evil...we're the best."
> Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded,
> although they
> conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us
> it was
> full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
> "An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi
> President Saddam
> Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had
> Germany,
> Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a
> secret
> handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."
> International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as
> within
> minutes, France surrendered.
> Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in
> became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they
> formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil," forcing Somalia to join with Uganda
> Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil," while Bulgaria, Indonesia
> and Russia
> established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally
> Disagreeable."
> With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling
> up...Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the
> "Axis of
> Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the
> Olympics."
> Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are
> Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America," while
> Scotland,
> New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Be Allowed
> to Ask
> Sheep to Wear Lipstick." "That's not a threat, really, just something we
> like to
> do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
> While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making
> fun of
> him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he
> rejected the
> establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay,"
> accusing one
> of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay,
> Uruguay,
> and Chadguay denied the charges.
> Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
> leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
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