hort.net Seasonal photo, (c) 2006 Christopher P. Lindsey, All Rights Reserved: do not copy
articles | gallery of plants | blog | tech blog | plant profiles | patents | mailing lists | top stories | links | shorturl service | tom clothier's archive0
Gallery of Plants
Tech Blog
Plant Profiles
Mailing Lists
    Search ALL lists
    Search help
    Subscription info
Top Stories
sHORTurl service
Tom Clothier's Archive
 Top Stories
Disease could hit Britain's trees hard

Ten of the best snowdrop cultivars

Plant protein database helps identify plant gene functions

Dendroclimatologists record history through trees

Potato beetle could be thwarted through gene manipulation

Hawaii expands coffee farm quarantine

Study explains flower petal loss

Unauthorized use of a plant doesn't invalidate it's patent

RSS story archive

Re: Happy Birthday!

As I have mentioned once or twice darling - it's YOUR turn. You've done
and done for your family all your life. It's your turn to do something
for yourself for a change. It's only fair after all!

---------- Original Message ----------------------------------
From: "Jesse Bell" <jesserenebell@hotmail.com>
Reply-To: gardenchat@hort.net
Date:  Sat, 07 Feb 2004 12:53:47 -0600

>Oh, don't get me wrong...my husband spoils me rotten..with material things.  
>But I told him what I really need, and what I really WANT...is some time for 
>ME.  I used to have an art studio, I used to take classes and do things that 
>nurtured my soul.  Then, I married, took on three more children and life 
>changed.  That's fine.  I love them all.  But children grow up...and they 
>still expect you to do everything for them unless you teach them how to do 
>it on their own.  You can ask Pam...my three children (not my husband's) 
>were taught early on how to do things for themselves.  But then, the teen 
>years hit...and the rolling of eyes begin, and the whining, and the 
>disappearing into their rooms for hours and never coming out begins.  But 
>when they WANT something, they sure ask for it.  I call it the "It's all 
>about ME" syndrome.  I think it's the "Divine One's" way off making your 
>children so frustrating that you don't cry your eyes out when they leave 
>HOME.  The first two children (my husband's two oldest) were hell on wheels 
>and I just about left because of them.  Now, they are a joy to be around.  
>They have grown up and matured somewhat.  One of them has a baby now 
>(reality sets in.....evil laugh in the background).  So, I know I am not the 
>first mother/wife in history to feel this way.  But I will say this, and 
>then I'm off my soapbox.  The world is not balanced and when it is not 
>balanced...there are problems.  It is a FACT that men still do less of the 
>housework than women...and women are working outside the home more and 
>more...so therefore, they end up working 24 hours, 7 days a week.  I refuse. 
>  I told my husband that time off, means TIME OFF.  I want to pick up my 
>cello lessons again.  I want to paint.  I want to take dance lessons.  I 
>want to enjoy the "OTHER HALF" of my life.  Let's face it....life expectancy 
>is around 80 years old (give or take) so, I've had kids, raised them, 
>devoted the first part of my life to that....and now...it's time to let go 
>and let them learn to take care of themselves.  And when that happens, their 
>little comfort zone is disturbed and they don't much like it.
>Jesse Rene' Bell
>Claremore, OK
>Zone 6
>>From: "Kitty" <kmrsy@comcast.net>
>>Reply-To: gardenchat@hort.net
>>To: <gardenchat@hort.net>
>>Subject: Re: [CHAT] Happy Birthday!
>>Date: Sat, 7 Feb 2004 13:56:52 -0500
>>To be honest, I bet you'd agree that there is a certain warmth in "doing"
>>for your family.  You WANT to do things for them because you love them.
>>Problem is, you overdid it, and now you've got to bring some balance back 
>>the household.  They need to learn the value of doing for the people they
>>love, too.
>>For the 7 or 8 years I was with my husband, I enjoyed doing things for him.
>>But over time, he abused this.  We sort of had an agreement that I'd take
>>care of the household and when we went out, he'd pay.  I knew I had the
>>short end of the stick, but didn't mind and I really did enjoy doing for
>>him......  But if we went out, he'd give me a hard time over ordering a
>>second drink.  And then he just preferred going out alone.  And if I didn't
>>cook, that was ok, he'd go out to eat - but wouldn't take me.  Eventually I
>>took a stand and told him he'd have to do his own laundry, cooking, etc -
>>or - he could resume his end of the bargain.  He refused.  I clearly
>>remember, as we drove to my sister's house one day about 6 weeks into this
>>stalemate, he got very upset and accused me of not loving him anymore
>>because I wouldn't do these things for him.  I explained that I genuinely
>>missed doing these things for him, but I'm not a doormat.  He never did
>>----- Original Message -----
>>From: "Jesse Bell" <jesserenebell@hotmail.com>
>>To: <gardenchat@hort.net>
>>Sent: Saturday, February 07, 2004 1:16 PM
>>Subject: Re: [CHAT] Happy Birthday!
>> > Thanks!  And no, you don't sound preachy at all.  It's just the truth.
>> > hit that point in my life where my family thinks I've gone insane and
>> > "changed".  LOL.  Because I've gone on strike.  When they ask "what's 
>> > dinner?" I say "I don't know, what are you fixing?"  When my husband 
>> > find clothes I say "I don't know, ask the laundry fairy what she did 
>> > it".  It dawned on me that I have a house full of teenagers and a 
>> > who think they can't do anything.  The youngest three are all 15 years
>> > The other is 17.  The oldest two are gone.  I work outside the home.  So
>> > does my husband.  So why should I be the one who plans dinners, does all
>> > laundry and somehow magically know where to find things that they have
>> >   It escapes me.  So...about two weeks ago, I did the "meltdown" thing 
>> > gathered the whole family together and told them that I am not their 
>> > housekeeper, I will be taking time to do the things that I want to do 
>> > that bothers them, TOO BAD!  They always seem to find time to do what 
>> > want to do, but I'm the one stuck cleaning the house and such.  NO MORE.
>> > told my husband if he wants a clean and spotless house, then get after 
>> > hire a housecleaner.  I will do SOME, but not ALL anymore.  And I warned
>> > them that gardening season is around the corner and if they need
>> > me...they'll know where to find me...and it WON'T be in the house.  I've
>> > heard this happens to women when they hit the menopausal
>> > guess it hit me.  I do NOT have to do this anymore.  They are all quite
>> > capable of doing it themselves.  I am not Saint Jesse the martyr.  If 
>> > want something...learn to do it themselves.  End of discussion.  So, now
>> > they think I've become this grouchy person.  OH well.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > Jesse Rene' Bell
>> > Claremore, OK
>> > Zone 6
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > >From: Aplfgcnys@aol.com
>> > >Reply-To: gardenchat@hort.net
>> > >To: gardenchat@hort.net
>> > >Subject: Re: [CHAT] Happy Birthday!
>> > >Date: Sat, 7 Feb 2004 12:17:11 EST
>> > >
>> > >Belated Happy Birthday, Jesse.  Here's hoping it was a good one.  Don't
>> > >give
>> > >up your dreams for your own business - time passes more quickly than 
>> > >would
>> > >believe. I do know that from your perspective, you young women think 
>> > >hectic over-crowded days with a houseful  will never end, but kids do
>> > >up
>> > >eventually (sometimes it takes longer than you expect) and the days do
>> > >when
>> > >you can do those things you dream about.  Just have faith.  Forgive me 
>> > >sound "preachy," but I've been there.  Auralie
>> > >
>> > >---------------------------------------------------------------------
>> > >Support hort.net -- join the hort.net fund drive!
>> > >http://www.hort.net/funds/
>> > >
>> >
>> > _________________________________________________________________
>> > Plan your next US getaway to one of the super destinations here.
>> > http://special.msn.com/local/hotdestinations.armx
>> >
>> > ---------------------------------------------------------------------
>> > Support hort.net -- join the hort.net fund drive!
>> > http://www.hort.net/funds/
>>Support hort.net -- join the hort.net fund drive!
>Choose now from 4 levels of MSN Hotmail Extra Storage - no more account 
>overload! http://click.atdmt.com/AVE/go/onm00200362ave/direct/01/
>Support hort.net -- join the hort.net fund drive!

Pam Evans
Kemp TX/zone 8A


Support hort.net -- join the hort.net fund drive!

Other Mailing lists | Author Index | Date Index | Subject Index | Thread Index

 © 1995-2015 Mallorn Computing, Inc.All Rights Reserved.
Our Privacy Statement