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Re: Happy Birthday! now adolescence


Jesse: Yeah, we got that attitude/rolling of the eyes thing starting
with Meg and she's only going to be 12 this summer...she is currently
enrolled in Melody's crash course on "How to survive your adolescence
with the meanest mother ever!"...I figure if I start now by telling her
that she is basically the one who controls how the next few years of her
life goes dependent on how well she behaves through it, then maybe by
the time adolescence starts in earnest she will get it...I dunno...I
think raising kids is mostly experimental in nature so I'm calling
Meghan as our oldest the experiment child...then we modify our process
for Mark and Morgan according to how things went with Meg...it seems to
work. Poor Meg, though...sometimes I really do think the oldest kid gets
the short end of the stick when it comes to that.



Melody, IA (Z 5/4)

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."    
--Albert Einstein

 --- On Sun 02/08, Jesse Bell < jesserenebell@hotmail.com > wrote:
From: Jesse Bell [mailto: jesserenebell@hotmail.com]
To: gardenchat@hort.net
Date: Sun, 08 Feb 2004 12:42:32 -0600
Subject: Re: [CHAT] Happy Birthday!

When I was a single mother...and BROKE...my three children new what a
budget <br>was...I bought enough groceries for the week...if they ate
more than the <br>"allotted" share for school lunches, then they didn't
get a juice box or <br>cookies on Friday. They were doing laundry,
vacuuming, helping with dishes, <br>mowing and all that. It's that
"magical" number....around 15 or 16 where <br>they THINK they are
helping you, but not without major attitude and rolling <br>of eyes, and
they do a half-assed job and don't "get it" when I tell them to <br>do
it again, only BETTER this time. Yours are still young. I'll bet money
<br>on it when they get older you'll see that change in them. It's just
part of <br>being a teenager. They are also at that age where they push
you to the <br>limit. Curfew for the 15 year olds is 11:00 on
Friday/Saturday (football <br>games, basketball games, school dances).
The other night...they dragged <br>home at almost 1:00 a.m. At 7:00 a.m
I had their butts up and said, "if you <br>keep me up till 1:00
worrying, then you get to get up early, feed ALL the <br>animals and
help around the house...and there will be NO naps today!" They <br>were
in bed that night at 8:30. And grounded. It's just part of raising a
<br>houseful of teenagers. I was prepared. When I married DH, his first
two <br>children were 15 and 17. It was baptism by fire for me. You're
supposed to <br>"gradually grow into the teen years". Well, I didn't get
to do that. They <br>were awful. But now...I love being around
them.<br><br><br><br>>From: "Melody" <mhobertm@excite.com><br>>Reply-To:
gardenchat@hort.net<br>>To: gardenchat@hort.net<br>>Subject: Re: [CHAT]
Happy Birthday!<br>>Date: Sat, 7 Feb 2004 19:32:17 -0500
(EST)<br>><br>>Jesse: Just another tip...you might try the "If I'm
cleaning then<br>>everybody is cleaning" routine, too...meaning no one
goes anywhere or<br>>does anything, not even talk on the phone, until
and unless what needs<br>>to be done around the house gets done...with a
group effort. Y

ou might<br>>also want to tell your kids that at half their ages, my 3
already know<br>>how to use all the major household appliances
(dishwasher, washing<br>>machine, dryer, microwave, vacuum, stove/oven)
and use them on a routine<br>>(i.e. daily/weekly) basis...I gave up
being a martyr mom a long time<br>>ago, too...course I must admit, that
if I want the kids' rooms to be<br>>**really** clean...that's a whole
other experience so I've learned to<br>>lower my standards a little when
it comes to how the kids clean their<br>>own rooms. Good luck with your
strike...and hang in...children and<br>>husbands are capable of learning
new tricks!<br>><br>><br>>Melody, IA (Z 5/4)<br>><br>>"The most
beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."<br>>--Albert
Einstein<br>><br>> --- On Sat 02/07, Jesse Bell <
jesserenebell@hotmail.com > wrote:<br>>From: Jesse Bell [mailto:
jesserenebell@hotmail.com]<br>>To: gardenchat@hort.net<br>>Date: Sat, 07
Feb 2004 12:16:57 -0600<br>>Subject: Re: [CHAT] Happy
Birthday!<br>><br>>Thanks! And no, you don't sound preachy at all. It's
just the truth.<br>>I've <br>hit that point in my life where my family
thinks I've gone<br>>insane and <br>&quot;changed&quot;. LOL. Because
I've gone on strike.<br>>When they ask &quot;what's for
<br>dinner?&quot; I say &quot;I don't<br>>know, what are you
fixing?&quot; When my husband can't <br>find clothes<br>>I say &quot;I
don't know, ask the laundry fairy what she did with<br>><br>it&quot;. It
dawned on me that I have a house full of teenagers and<br>>a husband
<br>who think they can't do anything. The youngest three are<br>>all 15
years old. <br>The other is 17. The oldest two are gone. I
work<br>>outside the home. So <br>does my husband. So why should I be
the one who<br>>plans dinners, does all the <br>laundry and somehow
magically know where<br>>to find things that they have lost? <br> It
escapes me. So...about two<br>>weeks ago, I did the &quot;meltdown&quot;
thing and <br>gathered the<br>>whole family together and told them that
I am not thei

r 
maid or<br>><br>housekeeper, I will be taking time to do the things that
I want to<br>>do and if <br>that bothers them, TOO BAD! They always seem
to find time<br>>to do what they <br>want to do, but I'm the one stuck
cleaning the house<br>>and such. NO MORE. I <br>told my husband if he
wants a clean and<br>>spotless house, then get after it or <br>hire a
housecleaner. I will do<br>>SOME, but not ALL anymore. And I warned
<br>them that gardening season<br>>is around the corner and if they need
<br>me...they'll know where to<br>>find me...and it WON'T be in the
house. I've <br>heard this happens to<br>>women when they hit the
menopausal years.....well....I <br>guess it hit<br>>me. I do NOT have to
do this anymore. They are all quite <br>capable of<br>>doing it
themselves. I am not Saint Jesse the martyr. If they
<br>want<br>>something...learn to do it themselves. End of discussion.
So, now<br>><br>they think I've become this grouchy person.
OH<br>>well.<br><br><br><br>Jesse Rene' Bell<br>Claremore,
OK<br>Zone<br>>6<br><br><br><br><br><br>&gt;From:
Aplfgcnys@aol.com<br>&gt;Reply-To:<br>>gardenchat@<br>><br>>hort.net<br>&gt;To:
gardenchat@hort.net<br>&gt;Subject: Re: [CHAT]
Happy<br>>Birthday!<br>&gt;Date: Sat, 7 Feb 2004
12:17:11<br>>EST<br>&gt;<br>&gt;Belated Happy Birthday, Jesse. Here's
hoping it was a<br>>good one. Don't <br>&gt;give<br>&gt;up your dreams
for your own business<br>>- time passes more quickly than you
<br>&gt;would<br>&gt;believe. I do<br>>know that from your perspective,
you young women think<br>>your<br>&gt;hectic over-crowded days with a
houseful will never end, but<br>>kids do grow
<br>&gt;up<br>&gt;eventually (sometimes it takes longer<br>>than you
expect) and the days do come <br>&gt;when<br>&gt;you can do<br>>those
things you dream about. Just have faith. Forgive me
if<br>>I<br>&gt;sound &quot;preachy,&quot; but I've been
there.<br>>Auralie<br>&gt;<br>&gt;---------------------------------------------------------------------<br>&gt;Support<br>>hort.net
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