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Re: Fwd: Difference between dogs & cats, plus current events

What makes that so funny is that it's all true! ROTFL
----- Original Message ----- From: "Cathy Carpenter" <cathy.c@insightbb.com>
To: <gardenchat@hort.net>
Sent: Friday, February 03, 2006 4:04 PM
Subject: [CHAT] Fwd: Difference between dogs & cats, plus current events

I don't usually pass stuff along, but this was pretty funny.

Cathy, west central IL, z5b

Begin forwarded message:

Subject: The Differences Between Dogs and Cats

As the current keeper (I won't say owner) of four cats and the former
owner of dogs, I'd say this about hits it on the head....

As seen in a dog's diary:

* 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
* 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
* 9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite! * Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
* 2 PM - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
* 3 PM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
* 4 PM - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
* 6 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
* 7 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
* 8 PM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
* 9 PM - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
* 11 PM - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

As seen in a cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity ... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced
to eat dry cereal.

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction that
I get from clawing their furniture. Tomorrow I will eat another houseplant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they
walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an
to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to
on their favorite chair. I must remember to try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make
aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts.
only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, that
did not
work according to plan...

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food.
important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing

I must learn what this is and how I may use it to my advantage. I am
convinced the
other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely
released and
seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them

regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current
in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I have patience, I can wait,
is only a matter of time...

Subject: State of the Union/Groundhog Day

This year, both Groundhog Day and The State of the Union Address fall on the same day.

As Air America Radio point out, "It is an ironic juxtaposition; one
involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little
intelligence for prognostication; the other involves a groundhog."

Subject: Keep on the up and up

I just wanted to let you know that the new Homeland Security Bill has passed again. Things will be different now and Internet surfing will be tracked by what the FBI calls a "non-intrusive method."

The FBI says you will not notice anything different. For a free demonstration, click on the link below.

Homeland Security
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