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Re: how to pill a cat was how to bathe a cat was: cat collars was now cat door

  • To: gardenchat@hort.net
  • Subject: Re: [CHAT]how to pill a cat was how to bathe a cat was: cat collars was now cat door
  • From: "Melody" <mhobertm@excite.com>
  • Date: Wed, 7 Jan 2004 04:18:00 -0500 (EST)

Marge:  That is so incredibly telling it like it is...very funny!  Thanks for the laugh!

Melody, IA (Z 5/4)

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."    
--Albert Einstein

 --- On Wed 01/07, Marge Talt < mtalt@hort.net > wrote:
From: Marge Talt [mailto: mtalt@hort.net]
To: gardenchat@hort.net
Date: Wed, 7 Jan 2004 04:05:22 -0500
Subject: Re: [CHAT]how to pill a cat was  how to bathe a cat was: cat  collars was now cat door

> From: Melody <mhobertm@excite.com><br>> Marge: Ugh! If there is one
thing I really hate doing with my cats,<br>it's<br>> trying to get meds.
into them...send away, dear! Might give me<br>something<br>> to laugh
about next time I have to do this!<br>----------<br><br>OoooKay,
Melody....here it is:<br><br>HOW TO GIVE YOUR CAT A PILL<br>by Peggy
Althoff<br><br>1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your
elbow,<br>just as if you were giving baby a bottle. Coo confidently,
"That's a<br>nice kitty." Drop pill into its mouth.<br>2. Retrieve cat
from top of lamp and pill from under sofa.<br>3. Follow same procedure
as in 1, but hold cat's front paws down<br>with left hand and back paws
down with elbow of right arm. Poke pill<br>into its mouth with right
forefinger.<br>4. Retrieve cat from under bed. Get new pill from
bottle.<br>(Resist impulse to get new cat.)<br>5. Again proceed as in 1,
except when you have cat firmly<br>cradled in bottle-feeding position,
sit down on edge of chair, fold<br>your torso over cat, bring your right
hand over your left elbow, open<br>cat's mouth by lifting the upper jaw
and pop the pill in - quickly.<br>Since your head is down by your knees,
you won't be able to see what<br>you're doing. That's just as
well.<br>6. Leave cat hanging on drapes. Leave pill in your hair.<br>7.
If you're a woman, have a good cry. If you're a man, have a<br>good
cry.<br>8. Now pull yourself together. Who's the boss here
anyway?<br>Retrieve cat and pill. Assuming position 1, say sternly,
"Who's the<br>boss here, anyway?" Open cat's mouth, take pill
and...Oooops!<br>9. This isn't working, is it? Collapse and think. Aha!
Those<br>flashing claws are causing the chaos.<br>10. Crawl to linen
closet. Drag back large beach towel. Spread<br>towel on floor.<br>11.
Retrieve cat from kitchen counter and pill from potted plant.<br>12.
Spread cat on towel near one end with its head over long<br>edge.<br>13.
Flatten cat's front and back legs over its s

tomach. (Resist<br>impulse to flatten cat.)<br>14. Roll cat in towel.
Work fast; time and tabbies wait for no<br>man-or woman.<br>15. Resume
position 1. Rotate your left hand to cat's head. Press<br>its mouth at
the jaw hinges like opening the petals of a snapdragon.<br>16. Drop pill
into cat's mouth and poke gently. Voila! It's done.<br>17. Vacuum up
loose fur (cat's). Apply bandages to wounds<br>(yours).<br>18. Take two
aspirins and lie down.<br>19. Forget aspirin, drink glass of wine and
lie down.<br><br>Marge Talt, zone 7
Maryland<br>mtalt@hort.net<br>Editor: Gardening in
Article: Spring
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