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Re: Rather sad
  • Subject: Re: Rather sad
  • From: "Kitty" <kmrsy@comcast.net>
  • Date: Sun, 19 Sep 2010 19:53:08 -0500

I don't consider someone to be a gardener if they refuse to get dirty.

they didn't
want to "dig."  In fact, they offered to send their yardmen to work on

This reminds me of my ex-h. We bought a rose or something and went to the yard to plant it, he carrying the shovel. He said, "I'll dig; you plant it - you don't mind getting dirty."

I don't mind getting dirty - I kind of enjoy it. But comments like that smack of superiority. Perhaps I'm "overly sensitive", but I just don't like it. Whenever I'd ask him to help with the housework, he'd say he'd get a maid to do his part. In my head, he was equating me with a maid.

Down 'n'Dirty Kitty
neIN, Zone 5
----- Original Message ----- From: "Zemuly Sanders" <zemuly@comcast.net>
To: <gardenchat@hort.net>
Sent: Sunday, September 19, 2010 3:30 PM
Subject: Re: [CHAT] Rather sad

Auralie, I think the fortunate ones are those who have been able to learn
from you.  You are not only knowledgable, you are also generous in sharing
your knowledge. I dropped out of our local garden club because they didn't
want to "dig."  In fact, they offered to send their yardmen to work on
projects! I clearly don't have a lot in common with them. <LOL> The plant societies, however, are another matter. They are made up of a lot of really
fun people.  I love my master gardener group, too, because many of us are
from rural areas and approach gardening from a shared perspective.  I do
agree with you that those people with the most problems are those who have
control issues.
zone 7
West TN
----- Original Message ----- From: <Aplfgcnys@aol.com>
To: <gardenchat@hort.net>
Sent: Sunday, September 19, 2010 2:43 PM
Subject: Re: [CHAT] Rather sad

I really feel the need to comment here.  I have just returned from the
New York State Federated Garden Clubs' Fall Conference - their big
annual meeting. We have attended this meeting every year since 1987.
(Chet is a garden-clubber, too, and served for eight years on the State
Board.) On the way home, we were remembering some who are no
longer with us, and told each other how very fortunate we have been to
have had the association with these great people for so many years.
Of course, like every group in the world, there are the few rotten apples, but they don't usually last very long. But as for being "snooty," I can't
imagine a less "snooty" bunch.  In my role as Chm. of the Horticulture
Schools program, I have had the good fortune to work with people all
across the state who are really dedicated to learning about growing
and showing.  In my 22 years in this job, only once have I encountered
a problem, and that was a person who was more concerned with control
than anything else.  I am just very thankful for all the many friends I
made over the years because of our shared interests in garden club

In a message dated 9/19/2010 12:50:32 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
kmrsy@comcast.net writes:

This speaks volumes about relying on second hand information.  The best
thing to do is find out for yourself.

There are "snooties" everywhere and there are "overly sensetives"
as well.  But I doubt that any one entire group is made up of just one
of person.  If you're interested in something, go for it.  Encounter
snooties?  Just find your nitch.  If it doesn't work out; well, try
something else.

I really like the idea of a probationary period. It really gives people a
chance to increase their knowledge and then puts them on a more even
with the rest of the group.

I've only been gardening since about 1990 and I almost exclusively went
mailorder from the start though I did eventually branch out to local
nurseries a bit.  I've run into my share of snooties but I've also run
some  "overly sensetives"  and even a few "ditzes".  Heck, I expect, in
various peoples opinions, I fall into all three categories from time to
time.  But for the most part I've encountered people who just enjoy
gardening in one form or another and posess varying degrees of knowledge
generosity.  All bring something to the table.  There are a few that I
avoid, as experience has shown that I have a better time  with the nicer

neIN, Zone 5
----- Original Message ----- From: <TeichFauna@aol.com>
To: <gardenchat@hort.net>
Sent: Sunday, September 19, 2010 8:26 AM
Subject: Re: [CHAT] Rather sad

Sorry, I'm coming in on this a bit late.....

I totally agree.  Here in Houston there are many different plant
societies. For years I heard about the snooty reputation, some more than
others.  I
attended the shows to see the various plants that I had only  seen in
books, make a wish list and buy the plants at the sales, since back then
was no internet, so you had to purchase locally. Garden club or society
plant sales were and still are for  the most part, the best place to
the more unusual and hard to find  plants (at a cheaper price than
that actually do well in the area...and  get first hand info from
growers.   I was pleasantly  surprised to see that the people were not
snooty at all. I found them to be very eager to share their passion and
knowledge.  I joined those groups  that I had the most interest in that
plant group. I avoided even trying to join the orchid society because I had heard they were the worst. I have now been a member for 3 years and
upset that I hadn't  joined sooner.

Times have changed, membership to a society is no  longer considered as
prestigious as it once was 25+ years ago.  From  what I was told, there
waiting lists to join the various plant societies, and one had to have a recommendation to join. Plants were much harder to obtain and therefore
much more, so membership was pretty limitted to those  that could afford
plants to begin with. But all this has changed, and those members that
tried to maintain these standards  are no longer around.   Nowadays, I
that the society members are  just extremely generous and passionate
their plants, and eager to pass on  excess plants and information to
that shows a legitimate interest in  learning......not just obtaining
plants.   They are especially  accepting of members that participate as
Unfortunately there are  those that are just out for what they can get.
societies have a  newcomers group  (I laughingly call it a probationary
period) that is required before becoming a member.......but in actuality
is the best  thing.  Newbies learn the basics by going to members houses
once a  month to learn about certain genera, growing methods, etc. and
starter plants to try.  By the time the two year period is up, they have
pretty good collection and knowledge about the plant group and know if
want  to join or not.  Many drop out after a couple months finding out
they  aren't as into the particular plant as they thought........... but
stay and  become active productive members.  These groups are social as
well  as educational, and highly rewarding, but mostly to those that
interest or share their passion.

zone 9
Texas Gulf Coast

In a message dated 7/29/2010 9:25:30 PM Central Daylight Time,
Aplfgcnys@aol.com writes:

You  should at least look at their shows.  I admit some clubs are
"snooty,"  though less and less these days, but Federated clubs,
as opposed to Garden  of America clubs, are real meritocracies.
You are appreciated for the work  you do, and status is gained
by achievement. Aside from that, I just feel  that the pleasure you
would get from a well-organized show is something you  should
experience.  I admit I'm a bit nuts, but a flower show is a  special
event.  Everyone involved is trying to make the best effort  possible.
You demonstrate what you have accomplished both  artistically
by flower arrangements, and horticulturally by exhibiting the  very
best specimens you can grow.  It's a real ego trip, I know,  but
I really think you would enjoy a good flower  show.

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