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Corporate Life (?) 2001



    > 
    > 1) MARKETING You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose
    > a marketing degree to 
    > avoid having to study in college, concentrating
    > instead on drinking and 
    > socializing which is pretty much what your job
    > responsibilities are now.  
    > Least compatible with Sales. 
    > 2) SALES Laziest of all signs, often referred to as
    > "marketing without a 
    > degree." You are also self centered and paranoid.
    > Unless someone calls you 
    > and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid
    > contact with customers so 
    > you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek
    > admiration for your golf 
    > game throughout your life. 
    > 3) TECHNOLOGY Unable to control anything in your
    > personal life, you are 
    > instead content to completely control everything
    > that happens at your 
    > workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you
    > are saying but who the 
    > heck can tell. It is written that Geeks shall
    > inherit the Earth. 
    > 4) ENGINEERING One of only two signs that actually
    > studied in school. It is 
    > said that ninety percent of all Personal Ads are
    > placed by engineers.  You 
    > can be happy with yourself; your office is full of
    > all the latest "ergo 
    > dynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is
    > really causing your "carpal 
    > tunnel syndrome." 
    > 5) ACCOUNTING The only other sign that studied in
    > school. You are mostly 
    > immune from office politics. You are the most feared
    > person in the 
    > organization; combined with your extreme
    > organizational traits, the majority 
    > of rumors concerning you say that you are completely
    > insane. 
    > 6) HUMAN RESOURCES Ironically, given your access to
    > confidential information, 
    > you tend to be the biggest gossip within the
    > organization. Possibly the only 
    > other person that does less work than marketing, you
    > are unable to return any 
    > calls today because you have to get a haircut, have
    > lunch and THEN mail a 
    > letter. 
    > 7) MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT Catty, cutthroat,
    > yet completely spineless, 
    > you are destined to remain at your current job for
    > the rest of your life.  
    > Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure
    > your worth by the number 
    > of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best
    > suited to marry other "Middle 
    > Managers" as everyone in you social circle is a
    > "Middle Manager." 
    > 8) SENIOR MANAGEMENT See above - Same sign,
    > different title) 
    > 9) CUSTOMER SERVICE Bright, cheery, positive, you
    > are a fifty-cent cab ride 
    > from taking your own life. As children very few of
    > you asked your parents for 
    > a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you
    > could pretend to play 
    > "Customer Service." Continually passed over for
    > promotions, your best bet is 
    > to sleep with your manager. 
    > 10) CONSULTANT Lacking any specific knowledge, you
    > use acronyms to avoid 
    > revealing your utter lack of experience. You have
    > convinced yourself that 
    > your "skills" are in demand and that you could get a
    > higher paying job with 
    > any other organization in a heartbeat. You will
    > spend an eternity 
    > contemplating these career opportunities without
    > ever taking direct action. 
    > 11) RECRUITER, "HEADHUNTER" As a "person" that
    > profits from the success of 
    > others, you are disdained by most people who
    > actually work for a living.  
    > Paid on commission and susceptible to alcoholism,
    > your ulcers and frequent 
    > heart attacks correspond directly with fluctuations
    > in the stock market. 
    > 12) PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO You are brilliant or
    > lucky. Your inability to 
    > figure out complex systems such as the fax machine
    > suggest the latter. 
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