A Little Late, but....
> The Best Ways to Prepare for Y2K:
> 1. Fatten up your closest friends. You may need them
> later. (Just think "mmm, filet of Steve")
> 2. Run to the bank and withdraw as much cash as you
> can carry. Be sure to yell, "I'm going to the bank to
> withdraw as much cash as I can carry!"
> 3. Have a ski mask and baseball bat handy. You won't
> want to miss out on all the looting fun.
> 4. Dig an underground bomb shelter. If there is no
> nuclear disaster, at least you'll have an underground
> bomb shelter. How cool is that?
> 5. Protect your water supply. Put a drop of yellow
> food coloring in every container.
> 6. Get some carrier pigeons. They'll be your best form
> of communication. They also taste like chicken.
> 7. Get one of those Indiglo Watches. When we have the
> big power failure, who's gonna know what time it is?
> You are, that's who.
> 8. Buy lots of Spam. It will be the world's new
> 9. Punch a computer programmer. Why? Why not?
> 10. Have plenty of clean towels. It's not specific to
> any millenial disaster, but when have you ever not
> needed clean towels?
> 11. Get used to changing the TV channel by hand.
> Remote controls will be totally inoperable.
> 12. Stock up on cat food. No, it's not for feeding
> cats. It's for catching them (if you know what I
> 13. Have plenty of sharp #2 pencils on hand. Due to
> computing errors, you may have to re-take your SAT's.
> 14. Throw out your microwave and VCR. On January 1st,
> they may come alive and try to kill you.
> 15. Collect all the spoons you can. Why? Because right
> now spoons are everywhere, But after January 1st, who
> 16. Move to Canada. Nothing bad ever happens to those
> 17. Visit a fertility clinic. It may be up to you
> alone to replenish the earth.
> 18. Make friends with the Amish. Because after
> December 31st, we're all Amish.
> 19. Hunker down. Then hunker down some more. We just
> like to say "Hunker Down." Try it, it's fun!
> 20. Break it to your kids that the world may end.
> Start by telling them there is no Santa Claus. That
> way, the news won't seem so bad.
> 21. Save all your Christmas Wrapping. It doubles as
> toilet paper.
> 22. Crawl into the fetal position and practice
> screaming: We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die!
> 23. Stock up on earplugs. If you hear "Party Like
> it's 1999" one more time, you will go insane.
> 24. Pray. This does no good if you're in advertising,
> they're all going to hell regardless.
> ____________________________ >>
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