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Re: Fw: Things Dogs Must Remember



  > > Things Dogs Must Try to Remember
  > >
  > > 1. I will not play tug of war with my master's underwear while he's on
  the
  > > toilet.
  > >
  > > 2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
  > >
  > > 3. I do not suddenly need to stand straight up when I'm lying under the
  > > coffee table.
  > >
  > > 4. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
  > >
  > > 5. I must shake the rainwater off my fur BEFORE entering the house.
  > >
  > > 6. I will not eat the cat's food, before OR after they eat it.
  > >
  > > 7. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet
  in
  > the
  > > house when I am about to throw up.
  > >
  > > 8. I will not throw up in the car.
  > >
  > > 9. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, ect.
  > >
  > > 10. I will not lick my master's face after eating animal poop.
  > >
  > > 11. "Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
  > >
  > > 12. I will not eat any more socks, and then redeposit them in the back
  > yard
  > > after processing.
  > >
  > > 13. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
  > >
  > > 14. I will not wake up my mistress by sticking my cold, wet nose up her
  > > bottom end.
  > >
  > > 15. I will not chew my human's toothbrush & then not tell them.
  > >
  > > 16. I will not chew crayon's or pen's, especially not the red ones or
  > people
  > > will think I am hemorrhaging.
  > >
  > > 17. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down
  > when
  > > it's raining outside.
  > >
  > > 18. We do not have a doorbell.  I will not bark each time I hear one on
  > T.V.
  > >
  > > 19. I will not steal my mistress's underwear and dance all over the back
  > yard
  > > with it.
  > >
  > > 20. The sofa is not a face towel.  Neither is my master's lap.
  > >
  > > 21. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
  > >
  > > 22. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for my
  > mistress's
  > > drivers license and registration.
  >>
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