hort.net Seasonal photo, (c) 2006 Christopher P. Lindsey, All Rights Reserved: do not copy
articles | gallery of plants | blog | tech blog | plant profiles | patents | mailing lists | top stories | links | shorturl service | tom clothier's archive0
 Navigation
Articles
Gallery of Plants
Blog
Tech Blog
Plant Profiles
Patents
Mailing Lists
    FAQ
    Netiquette
    Search ALL lists
    Search help
    Subscription info
Top Stories
Links
sHORTurl service
Tom Clothier's Archive
 Top Stories
Disease could hit Britain's trees hard

Ten of the best snowdrop cultivars

Plant protein database helps identify plant gene functions

Dendroclimatologists record history through trees

Potato beetle could be thwarted through gene manipulation

Hawaii expands coffee farm quarantine

Study explains flower petal loss

Unauthorized use of a plant doesn't invalidate it's patent

RSS story archive

Re: HORRENDOUS Groaners...


 
 HORRENDOUS Groaners...
 
 
 Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid
 bowlers. However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in
 a fire. Thus we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
 
 A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm
 shrinking!!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just
 have to be a little patient."
 
 A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins
 that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One
 day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some
 more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to
 wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested
 and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal
 porpoises.
 
 A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies
 with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a
 particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the
 anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and
 said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"
 
 Back in the 1800s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to
 produce other products and, since they already made the cases for pocket
 watches, decided to market compasses for the pioneers traveling west. It
 turned out that although their watches were of finest quality, their
 compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico
 rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the
 expression, "He who has a Tates is lost!"
 
 A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatory
 equipment. A police department spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We
 have absolutely nothing to go on."
 
 A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name
 missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the
 local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken
 Leif off my census."

---------------------------------------------------------------------
To sign-off this list, send email to majordomo@mallorn.com with the
message text UNSUBSCRIBE HOSTA-OPEN





 © 1995-2015 Mallorn Computing, Inc.All Rights Reserved.
Our Privacy Statement
Other Mailing lists | Author Index | Date Index | Subject Index | Thread Index