Got a letter from Grandma the other day. She writes...
The other day I went up to a local Christian
bookstore and saw a "Honk If You Love Jesus " bumper sticker.
I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come
from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer
meeting; so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed!
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection just lost in
thought! about the Lord and how good He is...and I didn't
notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else
because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed!
I found that LOTS of people love Jesus!
Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind
me started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and
screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! JESUS CHRIST, GO!"
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!Everyone started honking!
I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all
these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him
yelling something about a "sunny beach"...I saw another guy waving in a
funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in
the air. When I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat
what that meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck
sign or something.
Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii; so I leaned out the window
and gave him the good luck sign back.. My grandson burst out
he was enjoying this religious experience!
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that
they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended,
but this is when I noticed the light had changed.
So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers,
grinning, and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed I was the only car that got through the
intersection before the light changed again and I
felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we
had shared; so I slowed the car down, leaned out the window
and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!
THIS SIGN WAS POSTED AT A LOCAL GOLF CLUB!!
1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
2. Form a loose grip.
3. Keep your head down.
4. Avoid a quick back swing.
5. Stay out of the water.
6. Try not to hit anyone.
7. If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you.
8. Don't stand directly in front of others.
9. Quiet please... while others are preparingto go.
10. Don't take extra strokes.
Very good. Now flush the urinal, go outside, and tee off.
>WHY MEN AREN'T SECRETARIES
>Husband's note to his wife:
> "Doctor's office called: Said Pabst beer is normal"
Returning home from work, a young blonde woman was shocked to find that her
house had been ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at
and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the
channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash.
The blonde woman ran out on the porch and shuddered at the sight of the cop
and his dog.
Then she sat down on the steps, put her face in her hands and moaned, "I
came home to find all my possessions stolen. I called the police for help,
and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman!"
A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"
She said, "I'd love to be ten again."
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they
went to a theme park.
He put her on every ride in the park-the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop,
the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go.
She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and
her stomach upside down.
Into McDonalds they went, where she was given a Double Big Mac with extra
fries and a strawberry shake.
Then off to a theater to see Star Wars-more burgers, popcorn, cola and
At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten
One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually I meant dress size."
Four expectant fathers were in Minneapolis hospital
waiting room, while their wives were in labor.
The nurse arrived and announced to the first man,
"Congratulations sir, You're the father of twins."
"What a coincidence," the man said with some obvious pride. "I work for the
Minnesota Twins baseball team."
The nurse returned in a little while and turned to the
second man, "You sir, are the father of triplets."
"Wow, That's really an incredible coincidence," he answered. "I work for the
3M Corporation." My buddies at work will never let me live this one down.
An hour later, while the other two men were passing cigars around, the nurse
came back, this time she turn to the 3rd man - who had been quiet in the
corner. She announced that his wife had just given birth to quadruplets.
Stunned, he barely could reply. "Don't tell me!
Another coincidence?" asked the nurse. After finally
regaining his composure, he said "I don't believe it,
I work for the Four Seasons Hotel."
After hearing this, everybody's attention turned to
the 4th guy, who had just fainted, flat out on the
floor. The nurse rushed to his side and after some
time, he slowly gained back his consciousness.
When he was finally able to speak, you could hear him whispering repeatedly
the same phrase over and over again.
"I should have never taken that job at 7-Eleven...
"I should have never taken that job at 7-Eleven...
"I should have never taken that job at 7-Eleven..."
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