In a message dated 4/23/2004 4:27:16 PM Central Daylight Time, firstname.lastname@example.org writes:
near Dallas, TX
Until I saw the last photo in this group I feared for your safety. It appeared you had contracted a fatal combination of space sickness and redbeardindulgitis syndrome. Heretofore it had only been observed in astronauts and in the faces of severely embarrassed NASA engineers. Heretofore there has never been an instance of both diseases being contracted by one individual. You are however in imminent danger.
The immediate cure is to indulge yourself and spend more money on red bearded space age irises. It is best to begin doing so when symptoms are first noted. Otherwise, recovery can take a lifetime.