Fw: Darwin Awards
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Sent: Tuesday, September 05, 2000 5:43 PM
Subject: Darwin Awards
> For those of you who are anxiously awaiting this year's extraordinary
feats of stupidity:
> Darwin Awards 2000They have finally been released! For those not familiar
> with the Darwin Award, It's an annual honor given to the person who
> the universal human gene pool the biggest service by getting killed in the
> most extraordinarily stupid way. As always, competition this year has been
> keen. DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES1) In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man
> got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first
> through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.2) Buxton,
> A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand
> caved in as he sat inside it. Beachgoers said
> Daniel Jones, 21 dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and
> been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it
> collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the
> outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to
> Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took
> rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while
> 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.3) In
> February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell
> face-first through the ceiling of bicycle shop he was raiding. Death was
> caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his
> hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.4)
> Sylvester Briddell, Jr , 26, was killed in February in Selbyville, Del, as
> he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded
> four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger. DARWIN AWARD HONORABLE
> 1) In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out
> cobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a propane
> and caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his house.2)
> Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, NJ, in September,
> and his wife Bonnie was also injured, by a quarter-stick of dynamite that
> blew up in their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit
> dynamite and tried to toss it out the
> window to see what would happen, but they apparently failed to notice that
> the window was closed.3) TACOMA, WA - Kerry Bingham, had been drinking
> several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had
> bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. The conversation grew more
> heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30
> am. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no
> had brought bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered
> and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the
> cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the
> bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his
> off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river
> and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say," said Bingham,
> that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other
> explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.....AND THE WINNER
> IS:PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his
> constipated elephant 'Stefan' 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
> bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up elephant finally
> let fly-and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
> say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an
> olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him like a dump truck
> full of mud. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation
> knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock
> lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of
> him," said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no
> there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before
> watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. "It seems to be
> just one of those freak accidents that happen."(Oh those Germans... they
> so competitive.... Aren't they) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~