RE: Cleese

Great reminder why I enjoy Cleese so much - thanks for sharing.

Lynda
Zone 7 - West TN 

-----Original Message-----
From: owner-gardenchat@hort.net [o*@hort.net] On
Behalf Of David Franzman
Sent: Sunday, April 20, 2003 11:18 PM
To: Garden
Subject: [CHAT] Cleese


Do to overwhelming response (ok, there were three of you) I took into my

own hands to forward to the group.  I don't forward jokes as a rule but 
because of the magnificent social/political repercussions of our latest 
soire I thought this was relevant.

DF

Axis of Evil Wannabes 

by John Cleese

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, 
China,
and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," 
which they
said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis 
President
Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as 
having, for
starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil...in their 
dreams!"
declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the
best evils... best at being evil...we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, 
although they
conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us

it was
full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi 
President Saddam
Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had 
Germany,
Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a 
secret
handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as 
within
minutes, France surrendered.

Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in
what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said
they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil," forcing Somalia to join
with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil," while
Bulgaria, Indonesia 
and Russia
established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally
Disagreeable."

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling
up...Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the 
"Axis of
Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the
Olympics."

Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are
Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About
America," while 
Scotland,
New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Be Allowed

to Ask
Sheep to Wear Lipstick." "That's not a threat, really, just something we

like to
do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making

fun of
him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he 
rejected the
establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," 
accusing one
of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, 
Uruguay,
and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
privately, leaders said that's only because no one asked them.

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