RE: Cleese
- To: "'g*@hort.net '" g*@hort.net
- Subject: RE: [CHAT] Cleese
- From: Libby Valentine L*@WORKINGCONCEPTS.COM
- Date: Tue, 22 Apr 2003 08:56:26 -0400
VERY entertaining, but I don't think it's a John Cleese product (though it's
very much in the Monty Python vein of humor!) There's been a version of
this, without the byline, circulating for more than a year. Appears
someone has updated it a bit (the French reference is new) and added his
name to it, I think.
Still, it's a chuckle!
Libby
Maryland zone 6
-----Original Message-----
From: Ray & Nora Edwards
To: gardenchat@hort.net
Sent: 4/21/2003 6:31 PM
Subject: Re: [CHAT] Cleese
Love it!
Nora
----- Original Message -----
From: "David Franzman" <dfranzma@pacbell.net>
To: "Garden" <gardenchat@hort.net>
Sent: Sunday, April 20, 2003 9:18 PM
Subject: [CHAT] Cleese
> Do to overwhelming response (ok, there were three of you) I took into
my
> own hands to forward to the group. I don't forward jokes as a rule
but
> because of the magnificent social/political repercussions of our
latest
> soire I thought this was relevant.
>
> DF
>
> Axis of Evil Wannabes
>
> by John Cleese
>
> Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil,"
Libya,
> China,
> and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil,"
> which they
> said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis
> President
> Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.
>
> Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as
> having, for
> starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil...in their
> dreams!"
> declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the
best
> evils... best at being evil...we're the best."
>
> Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded,
> although they
> conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told
us
> it was
> full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
>
> "An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi
> President Saddam
> Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had
> Germany,
> Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a
> secret
> handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."
>
> International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift,
as
> within
> minutes, France surrendered.
>
> Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in
what
> became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said
they
had
> formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil," forcing Somalia to join with
Uganda
and
> Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil," while Bulgaria, Indonesia
> and Russia
> established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally
> Disagreeable."
>
> With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs
filling
> up...Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the
> "Axis of
> Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host
the
> Olympics."
>
> Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are
Actually
> Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America," while
> Scotland,
> New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Be
Allowed
> to Ask
> Sheep to Wear Lipstick." "That's not a threat, really, just something
we
> like to
> do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
>
> While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps
making
> fun of
> him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he
> rejected the
> establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay,"
> accusing one
> of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay,
> Uruguay,
> and Chadguay denied the charges.
>
> Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
privately,
> leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
>
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