Re: Pet rules

absolutely!  LOL

On 4/18/07, Aplfgcnys@aol.com <Aplfgcnys@aol.com> wrote:
>
> Some of you will appreciate this that was sent by my son.
>
> PET RULES
>
> To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
>
> Dear Dogs and Cats,
> The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other
> dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in
> the
> middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your
> food
> and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
>
> The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
> Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
> because
> I
> fall faster than you can run.
>
> I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
> this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
> comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It
> is
> not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
> fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and
> having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but
> sarcasm.
>
> For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
> some
> miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
> necessary
> to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge
> and
> try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered.
> Also,
> I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is
> not
> required.
>
> The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I
> cannot stress this enough!
>
> To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
> front
> door:
>
> To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
> 1. They live here. You don't.
> 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
> That's why they call it 'fur'niture
> 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
> 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is
> short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
>
> Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
> 1. Eat less
> 2. Don't ask for money all the time
> 3 Are easier to train
> 4. Normally come when called
> 5. Never ask to drive the car
> 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
> 7. Don't smoke or drink
> 8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
> 9. Don't want to wear your clothes
> 10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and..
> 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
>
>
>
> ************************************** See what's free at
> http://www.aol.com.
>
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>


-- 
Pam Evans
Kemp TX
zone 8A

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