Re: Holiday Eating Tips

Funny. My sister sent me that, too, but with some photos of animals that
had appeared to have overeaten. Something about being careful of
overeating - Don't let this happen to you! The first photo was one I
think many of you have already seen in other messages - the kitten that
fell asleep in a big pie pan full of food.


Kitty

-------------- Original message -------------- 

> Hear, hear. #5 is hilarious. 
> 
> Pam Evans 
> Kemp, TX 
> zone 8A 
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: Melody 
> Sent: 12/21/2004 11:50:52 PM 
> To: gardenchat@hort.net 
> Subject: [CHAT] Holiday Eating Tips 
> 
> Here's a good chuckle I thought I'd pass on in time for Christmas! Melody 
> 
> 
> Holiday Eating Tips 
> 
> 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffettable 
> knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you seecarrots, leave 
> immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rumballs. 
> 
> 
> 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine 
> single-maltscotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt 
> scotch.Youcan't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who 
> caresthat has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going 
> toturn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. 
> Haveone for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas! 
> 
> 
> 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point 
> ofgravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out 
> ofyour mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 
> 
> 
> 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk 
> orwhole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a 
> sportscar with an automatic transmission. 
> 
> 
> 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to 
> controlyour eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to 
> eatother people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? 
> 
> 
> 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and NewYear's. 
> You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.This is the 
> time for long naps, which you'll need after circling thebuffet table 
> while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat ofeggnog. 
> 
> 
> 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, 
> likefrosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, 
> positionyourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can 
> beforebecoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair 
> ofshoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again. 
> 
> 
> 8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or,if 
> you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Alwayshave 
> three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? LaborDay? 
> 
> 
> 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with themandatory 
> celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, havesome 
> standards. 
> 
> 
> 10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the partyor get up 
> from the table, you haven't been paying attention 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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