Re: Re: survey

It sure was to me.

Pam Evans
Kemp, TX
zone 8A
----- Original Message -----
From: Kitty
Sent: 12/31/2004 8:34:23 AM
To: gardenchat@hort.net
Subject: Re: [CHAT] survey

Nah - it's always funny when it happens to others!

----- Original Message ----- 

From: <gardenqueen@academicplanet.com>

To: <gardenchat@hort.net>

Sent: Thursday, December 30, 2004 8:07 PM

Subject: Re: [CHAT] survey





> My folks are pretty stiff. I nearly died laughing when they met Mike &

> Elaine on their last visit and Elaine hugged the stuffing out of them.

> My mother looked at me like a deer in headlights and all I could do was

> laugh. Guess I should have been more sympathetic, huh?

>

>

> Pam Evans

> Kemp, TX

> zone 8A

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: Kitty

> Sent: 12/30/2004 7:08:32 PM

> To: gardenchat@hort.net

> Subject: [CHAT] survey

>

> I guess I should have been more precise.

>

> I was thinking of the example I mentioned:

>

> >>You can't say a simple "Hey that was great fun! Thanks for inviting me.

>

> See you soon!"<<

>

> To elaborate:

>

> I get together with about 6-8 women about every 6 weeks to chat at one of

>

> our homes.  We've know each othe since grade or high school.  One woman,

my

>

> oldest friend, loves to hug anything she can grab hold of.  As I followed

>

> her out at evening's end she threw her arms around the hostess and thanked

>

> her for  a nice night. As her arms came back up she attempted to bring

them

>

> down on me for the next hug; I deftly caught it in mid air and guided it

>

> away quietly.  But no, she whips it back up and comes down on me with both

>

> arms, so I ducked out of harms way.  "I want a hug!"  "Debbe, you know I

>

> don't like hugs."  "I don't care!  I want a hug!"  "Well, you're not

getting

>

> it from me."

>

>

>

> Anyone looking at this exchange would think I'm very antisocial, and

what's

>

> the harm in a hug.  Hugs are positive things.  So I look like a jerk for

>

> asking someone not to hug me.  So instead I usually just submit, grin and

>

> bear it.  But Debbe KNOWS how I feel.  Hugs make me very uncomfortable.

We

>

> have discussed it.  And this is not some special moment in our lives.

It's

>

> a simple "good bye - see you next time" thing.  Why must I have to grit my

>

> teeth and take it just because she wants it?  Hmmm? That's abuse of the

>

> friendship.

>

>

>

> So, the A or B I'm asking about refers to a casual, reasonably frequent

>

> get-together of friends.

>

>

>

> Just so you know - I gladly and warmly hugged my nephew when he got off

the

>

> plane last night.  But it has been over 6 months and he nearly died a

couple

>

> of times.  That is hug material.

>

>

>

>

>

> Kitty

>

>

>

> ----- Original Message ----- 

>

> From: "Jesse Bell" <

>

> > Depends on the person...family, friend, business associate.  Some people

>

> you

>

> > feel more comfortable hugging than others.

>

> >

>

> >

>

> >

>

> >

>

> > >From: kmrsy@comcast.net

>

> > >Reply-To: gardenchat@hort.net

>

> > >To: gardenchat@hort.net

>

> > >Subject: Re: [CHAT] One project  > survey

>

> > >Date: Thu, 30 Dec 2004 21:53:39 +0000

>

> > >

>

> > >I think that's wonderful, Donna. I wish I could be more like that. To

>

> > >tell you the truth, though, I am in better shape now than during her

>

> > >last visit. I'm just not a particularly sociable person and

consequently

>

> > >I'm sort of torn betwen wanting to just do what I want and feeling like

>

> > >a terrible host.

>

> > >

>

> > >

>

> > >Here's an example:

>

> > >I reallllllllllly hate all the hugging people want to do all the time

>

> > >now. You can't say a simple "Hey that was great fun! Thanks for

inviting

>

> > >me. See you soon!", without someone glombing on to you, grabbing you

>

> > >with both arms and dragging you into their bosom.

>

> > >

>

> > >

>

> > >So, survey time:

>

> > >A: "Hugs all-around! I'm touchy-feely. Anyone within grabbing distance!

>

> > >Hello! Goodbye! Oh, just c'mere and give me a great big hug!!!!!"

>

> > >

>

> > >B:  "Hugs ok if appropriate - which is rarely.  Keep your distance."

>

> > >

>

> > >Which one are you?  A or B?

>

> > >

>

> > >Kitty

>

>

>

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