Re: now adolescence

Oh my - the little Mini Me Diva got busted!! Do kids forget that their
parents were once their age and tried all this stuff already?? Amazing.


---------- Original Message ----------------------------------
From: "Jesse Bell" <jesserenebell@hotmail.com>
Reply-To: gardenchat@hort.net
Date:  Wed, 11 Feb 2004 08:19:53 -0600

>Yeh....Meg's about at that age.  Last night Brianna wanted to go to the 
>basketball game (she is still grounded from the coming in at 1:00 a.m. mind 
>you).  I said no.  She said "Mr. Couch (the band director) wanted me to help 
>him get the flags together and do some "stuff" (she is on the flag team)".  
>I said, "how is Mr. Couch going to mess with flags when he is directing the 
>band at the basketball game?  But I will let you go if you can PROVE to me 
>that you are going to help the band director.  If I find out you are not 
>telling me the truth, and I WILL FIND OUT....you will remain grounded for 
>the next month".  She came home from school and pouted the rest of the 
>evening.  I asked her, "why didn't you stay and help Mr. Couch?"....her 
>response..."you made me feel bad so I just didn't bother".  Uh huh.  Try 
>"I'm busted so I came home".  I just looked at her and said, "I was a 
>teenager once too...and I'd never want to go back to that age...EVER".  It's 
>rough.
>
>Jesse Rene' Bell
>Claremore, OK
>Zone 6
>
>
>
>
>
>>From: "Melody" <mhobertm@excite.com>
>>Reply-To: gardenchat@hort.net
>>To: gardenchat@hort.net
>>Subject: Re: [CHAT] Happy Birthday! now adolescence
>>Date: Wed, 11 Feb 2004 06:31:01 -0500 (EST)
>>
>>Jesse: Yeah, we got that attitude/rolling of the eyes thing starting
>>with Meg and she's only going to be 12 this summer...she is currently
>>enrolled in Melody's crash course on "How to survive your adolescence
>>with the meanest mother ever!"...I figure if I start now by telling her
>>that she is basically the one who controls how the next few years of her
>>life goes dependent on how well she behaves through it, then maybe by
>>the time adolescence starts in earnest she will get it...I dunno...I
>>think raising kids is mostly experimental in nature so I'm calling
>>Meghan as our oldest the experiment child...then we modify our process
>>for Mark and Morgan according to how things went with Meg...it seems to
>>work. Poor Meg, though...sometimes I really do think the oldest kid gets
>>the short end of the stick when it comes to that.
>>
>>
>>
>>Melody, IA (Z 5/4)
>>
>>"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."
>>--Albert Einstein
>>
>>  --- On Sun 02/08, Jesse Bell < jesserenebell@hotmail.com > wrote:
>>From: Jesse Bell [mailto: jesserenebell@hotmail.com]
>>To: gardenchat@hort.net
>>Date: Sun, 08 Feb 2004 12:42:32 -0600
>>Subject: Re: [CHAT] Happy Birthday!
>>
>>When I was a single mother...and BROKE...my three children new what a
>>budget <br>was...I bought enough groceries for the week...if they ate
>>more than the <br>"allotted" share for school lunches, then they didn't
>>get a juice box or <br>cookies on Friday. They were doing laundry,
>>vacuuming, helping with dishes, <br>mowing and all that. It's that
>>"magical" number....around 15 or 16 where <br>they THINK they are
>>helping you, but not without major attitude and rolling <br>of eyes, and
>>they do a half-assed job and don't "get it" when I tell them to <br>do
>>it again, only BETTER this time. Yours are still young. I'll bet money
>><br>on it when they get older you'll see that change in them. It's just
>>part of <br>being a teenager. They are also at that age where they push
>>you to the <br>limit. Curfew for the 15 year olds is 11:00 on
>>Friday/Saturday (football <br>games, basketball games, school dances).
>>The other night...they dragged <br>home at almost 1:00 a.m. At 7:00 a.m
>>I had their butts up and said, "if you <br>keep me up till 1:00
>>worrying, then you get to get up early, feed ALL the <br>animals and
>>help around the house...and there will be NO naps today!" They <br>were
>>in bed that night at 8:30. And grounded. It's just part of raising a
>><br>houseful of teenagers. I was prepared. When I married DH, his first
>>two <br>children were 15 and 17. It was baptism by fire for me. You're
>>supposed to <br>"gradually grow into the teen years". Well, I didn't get
>>to do that. They <br>were awful. But now...I love being around
>>them.<br><br><br><br>>From: "Melody" <mhobertm@excite.com><br>>Reply-To:
>>gardenchat@hort.net<br>>To: gardenchat@hort.net<br>>Subject: Re: [CHAT]
>>Happy Birthday!<br>>Date: Sat, 7 Feb 2004 19:32:17 -0500
>>(EST)<br>><br>>Jesse: Just another tip...you might try the "If I'm
>>cleaning then<br>>everybody is cleaning" routine, too...meaning no one
>>goes anywhere or<br>>does anything, not even talk on the phone, until
>>and unless what needs<br>>to be done around the house gets done...with a
>>group effort. Y
>>
>>ou might<br>>also want to tell your kids that at half their ages, my 3
>>already know<br>>how to use all the major household appliances
>>(dishwasher, washing<br>>machine, dryer, microwave, vacuum, stove/oven)
>>and use them on a routine<br>>(i.e. daily/weekly) basis...I gave up
>>being a martyr mom a long time<br>>ago, too...course I must admit, that
>>if I want the kids' rooms to be<br>>**really** clean...that's a whole
>>other experience so I've learned to<br>>lower my standards a little when
>>it comes to how the kids clean their<br>>own rooms. Good luck with your
>>strike...and hang in...children and<br>>husbands are capable of learning
>>new tricks!<br>><br>><br>>Melody, IA (Z 5/4)<br>><br>>"The most
>>beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."<br>>--Albert
>>Einstein<br>><br>> --- On Sat 02/07, Jesse Bell <
>>jesserenebell@hotmail.com > wrote:<br>>From: Jesse Bell [mailto:
>>jesserenebell@hotmail.com]<br>>To: gardenchat@hort.net<br>>Date: Sat, 07
>>Feb 2004 12:16:57 -0600<br>>Subject: Re: [CHAT] Happy
>>Birthday!<br>><br>>Thanks! And no, you don't sound preachy at all. It's
>>just the truth.<br>>I've <br>hit that point in my life where my family
>>thinks I've gone<br>>insane and <br>"changed". LOL. Because
>>I've gone on strike.<br>>When they ask "what's for
>><br>dinner?" I say "I don't<br>>know, what are you
>>fixing?" When my husband can't <br>find clothes<br>>I say "I
>>don't know, ask the laundry fairy what she did with<br>><br>it". It
>>dawned on me that I have a house full of teenagers and<br>>a husband
>><br>who think they can't do anything. The youngest three are<br>>all 15
>>years old. <br>The other is 17. The oldest two are gone. I
>>work<br>>outside the home. So <br>does my husband. So why should I be
>>the one who<br>>plans dinners, does all the <br>laundry and somehow
>>magically know where<br>>to find things that they have lost? <br> It
>>escapes me. So...about two<br>>weeks ago, I did the "meltdown"
>>thing and <br>gathered the<br>>whole family together and told them that
>>I am not thei
>>
>>r
>>maid or<br>><br>housekeeper, I will be taking time to do the things that
>>I want to<br>>do and if <br>that bothers them, TOO BAD! They always seem
>>to find time<br>>to do what they <br>want to do, but I'm the one stuck
>>cleaning the house<br>>and such. NO MORE. I <br>told my husband if he
>>wants a clean and<br>>spotless house, then get after it or <br>hire a
>>housecleaner. I will do<br>>SOME, but not ALL anymore. And I warned
>><br>them that gardening season<br>>is around the corner and if they need
>><br>me...they'll know where to<br>>find me...and it WON'T be in the
>>house. I've <br>heard this happens to<br>>women when they hit the
>>menopausal years.....well....I <br>guess it hit<br>>me. I do NOT have to
>>do this anymore. They are all quite <br>capable of<br>>doing it
>>themselves. I am not Saint Jesse the martyr. If they
>><br>want<br>>something...learn to do it themselves. End of discussion.
>>So, now<br>><br>they think I've become this grouchy person.
>>OH<br>>well.<br><br><br><br>Jesse Rene' Bell<br>Claremore,
>>OK<br>Zone<br>>6<br><br><br><br><br><br>>From:
>>Aplfgcnys@aol.com<br>>Reply-To:<br>>gardenchat@<br>><br>>hort.net<br>>To:
>>gardenchat@hort.net<br>>Subject: Re: [CHAT]
>>Happy<br>>Birthday!<br>>Date: Sat, 7 Feb 2004
>>12:17:11<br>>EST<br>><br>>Belated Happy Birthday, Jesse. Here's
>>hoping it was a<br>>good one. Don't <br>>give<br>>up your dreams
>>for your own business<br>>- time passes more quickly than you
>><br>>would<br>>believe. I do<br>>know that from your perspective,
>>you young women think<br>>your<br>>hectic over-crowded days with a
>>houseful will never end, but<br>>kids do grow
>><br>>up<br>>eventually (sometimes it takes longer<br>>than you
>>expect) and the days do come <br>>when<br>>you can do<br>>those
>>things you dream about. Just have faith. Forgive me
>>if<br>>I<br>>sound "preachy," but I've been
>>there.<br>>Auralie<br>><br>>---------------------------------------------------------------------<br>>Support<br>>hort.net
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