hort.net Seasonal photo, (c) 2006 Christopher P. Lindsey, All Rights Reserved: do not copy
articles | gallery of plants | blog | tech blog | plant profiles | patents | mailing lists | top stories | links | shorturl service | tom clothier's archive0
 Navigation
Articles
Gallery of Plants
Blog
Tech Blog
Plant Profiles
Patents
Mailing Lists
    FAQ
    Netiquette
    Search ALL lists
    Search help
    Subscription info
Top Stories
Links
sHORTurl service
Tom Clothier's Archive
 Top Stories
Disease could hit Britain's trees hard

Ten of the best snowdrop cultivars

Plant protein database helps identify plant gene functions

Dendroclimatologists record history through trees

Potato beetle could be thwarted through gene manipulation

Hawaii expands coffee farm quarantine

Study explains flower petal loss

Unauthorized use of a plant doesn't invalidate it's patent

RSS story archive

The Owl & the Barber Shop


Anyone remember James T. Fields's "The Owl Critic"?

Saturday, I went to the barbershop of my choice [svelte but tatooed blond chick] and arrived in time to be the first customer of her fat-chick employee second-chair barber. As I sat in the second chair, removed my chapeau, and said "take it all off," she said, "You won't believe what happened to me last night, honey!"

Right. I'm a 70-something geezer and she's a 30-something hefty babe. I can't imagine what has happened to her ever, let alone the night before... and certainly not on the spur of the moment. Then she says, not just to me but to the assembled patrons and employees, "I was on my way to Melody's house, because she was in bad shape on account of Carl being in jail, and I was driving real slow--Melody lives in my neighborhood, and we drive real slow in that neighborhod--and I had the driver's window down. Suddenly, something hit me in the side of the head, whap!, and skimmed past me, and landed in the rider's seat.

"So I fumbled around and found the my pickup's cab light and turned in on. It was an owl! A goddam owl had flown in the window, hit me in the head, and was now twitching and flopping on the seat next to me. Shit, I didn't know if it was rabid or not, so I jumped out of the truck. Then I realized the truck was still going so I chased it down the road a ways and jumped back in.

"I finally got to Melody's house and pulled in the drive, slammed on the emergency brake, and ran inside. Melody was sitting on the couch and crying and I yelled, "Babe, be with me for a minute, will ya! I got a terrible headache and a dying owl on the front seat of my truck. You got a shovel or something so I can get it out?

Melody quit crying long enough to say Carl probably had a shovel, but he was in jail and she didn't know where it might be.

It took almost as long to get my hair cut as it took to get the dead owl out of the truck.

Island Jim
Southwest Florida
27.0 N, 82.4 W
Zone 10a
Minimum 30 F [-1 C]
Maximum 100 F [38 C]

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Support hort.net -- join the hort.net fund drive!
http://www.hort.net/funds/



Other Mailing lists | Author Index | Date Index | Subject Index | Thread Index



 © 1995-2015 Mallorn Computing, Inc.All Rights Reserved.
Our Privacy Statement