hort.net Seasonal photo, (c) 2006 Christopher P. Lindsey, All Rights Reserved: do not copy
articles | gallery of plants | blog | tech blog | plant profiles | patents | mailing lists | top stories | links | shorturl service | tom clothier's archive0
Gallery of Plants
Tech Blog
Plant Profiles
Mailing Lists
    Search ALL lists
    Search help
    Subscription info
Top Stories
sHORTurl service
Tom Clothier's Archive
 Top Stories
Disease could hit Britain's trees hard

Ten of the best snowdrop cultivars

Plant protein database helps identify plant gene functions

Dendroclimatologists record history through trees

Potato beetle could be thwarted through gene manipulation

Hawaii expands coffee farm quarantine

Study explains flower petal loss

Unauthorized use of a plant doesn't invalidate it's patent

RSS story archive


That is priceless!

Andrea H
Beaufort, SC 

> [Original Message]
> From: Chapel Ridge Wal Mart National Hearing Center
> To: <gardenchat@hort.net>
> Date: 7/12/2005 1:48:35 PM
> You may have seen this already - I think I did a long while back - but
it's so
> darned funny, it is worth rereading:
> Read the whole thing! This is supposedly an actual
> letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan Department of
> Environmental Quality, State of   Michigan. This guy's response is
> hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response
> SUBJECT: DEQ File   No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County
>  Dear Mr. DeVries:
>  It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality
> that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced
> parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or
> contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and
> maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring
> Pond.
> A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A
> review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued.
> Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in
> violation Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and
> Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being
> sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
>  The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially
> failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at
> downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently
> hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to
> cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the
> stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming
> the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed
> no later than January 31, 2003.
>  Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed, so
> that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.
>  Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized
> activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated
> enforcement action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full
> cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office
> if you have any questions.
>  Sincerely,
>  David L. Price
>  District Representative
>  Land and Water   Management Division
>  ** This is the actual response sent back: **
>  Re: DEQ File No.   97-59-0023; T11N ; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.
>  Dear Mr. Price:
>  Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to respond
> to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget,
> Pierson, Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized)
> process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the
> outlet stream of my Spring Pond.
>  While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I
> think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of
> natures building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your
> department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any
> place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could
> ever match their dam skills, their dam  resourcefulness, their dam
> ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their
> dam work ethic.
>  As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must
> first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam
> activity.
>  My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate
> against my Spring Pond Beavers or (2) do you require all beavers
> throughout this State to conform to said dam request?? If you are not
> discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of
> Information Act, I request completed copies of  all those other applicable
> beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if there
> really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the
> Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public
> Acts of 1994, being sections 324 .30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan
> Compiled Laws, annotated.
>  I have several concerns. My first concern is .. aren't the beavers
> entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially
> destitute and are unable to pay for said representation, so the State
> will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern
> that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event
> causing flooding is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the
> Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the
> Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing  them and calling their
> dam names.
>  If you want the   stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please
> contact the beavers, but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously
> did not pay any attention to your dam letter...they being unable to read
> English.
>  In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build
> their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green
> and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live
> and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and
> Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the
> natural resources (Beavers) and the environment   (Beavers' Dams).
>  So, as far as the   beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be
> referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until
> 12/31/2003? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and
> there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them
> then.
>  In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real
> environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears!
> Bears are actually defecating in our woods.? I definitely believe you
> should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone.
> If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The
> bears are not careful where they dump!)
>     Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to
> contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to
> your dam office.
>  Thank You,
>  Ryan DeVries & The Dam Beavers
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> To sign-off this list, send email to majordomo@hort.net with the

To sign-off this list, send email to majordomo@hort.net with the

Other Mailing lists | Author Index | Date Index | Subject Index | Thread Index

 © 1995-2015 Mallorn Computing, Inc.All Rights Reserved.
Our Privacy Statement