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Re: Snakes, cont'd.

And then there's the classic green snake story.  If you don't remember
it, I'll add it - but it's long so be prepared

In a message dated 07/16/2005 3:56:51 AM Eastern Daylight Time, 
lindsey@mallorn.com writes:
After the recent discussion about snakes, I thought you guys might find
this story interesting (or bizarre or entertaining):


Remember, it can always be worse!
Green Garden Grass snakes can be dangerous, Yes, grass snakes, not
rattlesnakes. A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, 
and during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing in a lot of them 
indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.
It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in 
one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and 
the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream. 
The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the living room 
naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake 
under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to 
look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him 
in the butt. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he fainted. 
His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance.
The attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started 
carrying him out. About that time the snake came out from under the 
sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his 
end of the> stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he 
is in the hospital. 
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, 
so she called on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. 
He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under 
the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, and she 
sat down on the sofa in relief. But in relaxing, her hand dangled in 
between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. 
She screamed and fainted, and the snake rushed back under the sofa. 
The neighbor man, seeing her laying there passed out, tried to use 
CPR to revive her. The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from 
shopping at the grocery store, heard the loud scream. Still carrying
her groceries, she ran next door, saw her husband's mouth on the 
woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head 
with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp 
to a point where it needed stitches.
An ambulance was again called and it was determined that the 
injury required hospitalization. The noise woke the woman from 
her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with 
his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten 
by the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a small 
bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat. 
By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, 
smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight
had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the two 
women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake. 
They called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and 
his sobbing wife. Just then the little snake crawled out from 
under the couch. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it.
He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on 
one side of the sofa. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered 
and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes. The other 
policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through the window 
into the yard on top of the family dog, who startled, jumped up 
and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved 
to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car and set it on fire.
  Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the 
entire house was blazing. Neighbors had called the fire department 
and the arriving fire-truck had started raising his ladder as they 
were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the 
overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the 
telephones in a ten-square city block area.
  Time passed ... Both men were discharged from the hospital, The house
was rebuilt, The police acquired a new car, and all was right with their 
world ... About a year later they were watching TV and the weatherman 
announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if she 
thought they should bring in their plants for the night.
She strangled him!!!!!!!!

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