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Disease could hit Britain's trees hard

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Murphy's New Laws


I am passing this on so you may share in a laugh!

Murphy's New Laws  (with some omitted)



 1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

 2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

 3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

 4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

 5 Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?

 6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

 7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

 8. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.

 10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

 11. He's not dead. He's electroencephalographically challenged.

 12. She's always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the "Juneflower"

 14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

 15. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

 17. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

 19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and 
blame it on the higher cost of living.

 20. Just remember if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off

 21. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something 
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

 22. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, 
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

 26. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those 
who got there first.

 27. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he 
will sit in a boat all day drinking.

 28. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

 29. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture.

 31. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

 32. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

 33. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

 34. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

 35. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 
people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.Get more from the Web.  
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