OT/son coming home from Iraq...

Kathy wrote:------------------------------

Date: Sun, 8 Oct 2006 14:55:41 EDT

From: Cornergar@aol.com

Subject: Re: [CHAT] OT/son coming home from Iraq



Jesse, Have been thinking so much about you and Brandi and Neal and all 

the heartache there. Some days I wish I could believe in prayer. I hope you 

do and that it's helping. Just know how much your friends are with you. Kathy



------------------------------
Thaks Kathy. I do believe in prayer. I am certain that my son and his
platoon have been safe because of all the prayers that have been sent
out on their behalf. I've seen prayer work in my life over and over
again.

   
And when I needed to clear my head I used to either work in my gardens
or clean something to death. But when my son left for boot camp...I just
didn't find much joy in being in my gardens anymore. Now my gardens are
more work than pleasure which makes me sad. I hope that I get my love
for gardening back. It's weird....yesterday I had blocked off the whole
day to go outside and get my gardens weeded and "winterized" and I kept
putting it off and putting it off....but today when I went out for lunch
I just wanted to be in my gardens so bad because it was beautiful
outside.

   
I finally did go outside yesterday...and it dawned on me. The kids used
to come out and talk to me when I was outside working. When they were
little, they liked to "help" me. As they became teenagers they weren't
as interested in it, but would still come outside every now and then. We
had some of the BEST times when we were in my gardens. My chest and
heart hurt when I thought about it. They are all gone now. I mean, the
girls live at home but they are never here. They work and go to college.
Some nights they don't get home till 11:30 and I'm already in bed. Neal
is a man now, and won't ever be back home to stay for any length of
time. I realized that going out there reminded me how much I miss my
kids and the good times we had outside. I felt so alone and just cried.
Empty nest syndrome....bad. I know that will pass too. At least I
figured out what is bothering me about it...and can get past that. I
just had to go out there and face my true feelings when I

was weeding. I kept asking myself, "why do I feel so sad when I'm out
here?" "Why do I feel so empty?" If you think about the questions long
enough...the answer comes to you.


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