|
I kind of doubt that God said, " Grass? But its so boring. Its not
colorful."
After all, He made over 700 genera and more than 7,000 species of
Gramineae. He was hardly bored with it!
----- Original Message -----
From:
c*@sbcglobal.net
To: g*@lists.ibiblio.org
Sent: Saturday, March 06, 2004 9:07
AM
Subject: Re: Fw: [GWL] Lawns
I think the source will be hard to find. It's been circulating
as an internet joke for several months. I first saw it at least 6 months ago.
Carolyn Ulrich
On Saturday, March 6, 2004, at 09:23 AM, Suzanne Pierot
wrote:
I'm still hoping someone
will know the source of this piece on lawns as I would like to quote from it
in our News Letter./smaller>/fontfamily>
Thanks/smaller>/fontfamily>
Suzanne
Pierot, President/smaller>/fontfamily>
American
Ivy Society/smaller>/fontfamily>
----- Original Message
-----
From: John Keslick/color>
To: Garden
Writers -- GWL -- The Garden Writers Forum/color>
Sent:
Sunday, February 29, 2004 8:07 AM
Subject: [GWL] Lawns
To winterize or not to
winterize lawn
"Winterize your lawn", the big sign outside the garden
store commanded. I've
fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and
watched a lot of it die away. Now
I'm supposed to winterize
it? I hope it's too late. Grass lawns have to be
the stupidest
thing we've come up with outside of a thong swimsuits!
We
constantly battle dandelions, Queen's lace, thistle, violets,
chicory and
clover that thrive naturally, so we can grow grass that must
be nursed
through an annual four-step chemical dependency.
Imagine
the conversation The Creator might have with St. Francis about
this:
"Frank you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world
is going on
down there in the Midwest? What happened to the
dandelions, violets, thistle
and stuff I started eons ago? I had a
perfect, no-maintenance garden plan.
Those plants grow in any type of
soil, withstand drought and multiply with
abandon. The nectar from
the long-lasting blossoms attracted butterflies,
honeybees and flocks of
songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors
by now.
But all I see are these green rectangles."
" It's the tribes
that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.
They started
calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great extent to kill
them and
replace them with grass".
" Grass? But its so boring. Its not
colorful. It doesn't attract
butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and
sod worms. Its' temperamental
with temperatures. Do these
Suburbanites really want all that green grass
growing
there?
"Apparently so, Lord, They go to great pains to grow it and
keep it green.
They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poising
any other plant that
crops up in the lawn".
"The spring rains and
cool weather probably make grass grow really fast.
That must make the
Suburbanites happy".
"Not exactly, Lord. As soon as it grows a
little, they cut it-sometimes
twice a week".
"They cut it?
Do they then bale it like hay?"
" Not exactly, Lord. Most
of them rake it up and put it in bags."
" They bag it? Why?
Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?"
"No, sir. Just
the opposite. They pay to throw it away".
"Now let me get this
straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And
when it does
grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?"
"Yes,
sir."
"These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut
back on the
rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth
and saves them a lot
of work."
"You aren't going to believe this
Lord. When the grass stops growing so
fast, they drag out hoses and
pay more money to water it so they can
continue to mow it and pay to get
rid of it."
"What nonsense! At least they kept some of the
trees. That was a sheer
stroke of genius, if I do say so myself.
The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the
summer . In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a
natural
blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes.
Plus, as they
rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil.
It's a natural circle of
life."
"You better sit down,
Lord. The suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As
soon as the
leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and have them
hauled
away."
"No! What do they do to protect the shrub and the tree
roots in the winter
and keep the soil moist and loose?"
"After
throwing away your leaves, they go out and buy something they call
mulch.
They haul it home and spread it around in the place of
leaves."
"and where do they get this mulch?"
" They cut down
trees and grind them up."
"Enough! I don't want to think about this
anymore. Saint Catherine, you're
in charge of the arts. What movie
have you scheduled for us tonight?"
"Dumb and Dumber, Lord.
It's a real stupid movie about.
"Never mind I think I just
heard the whole
story."/fontfamily>
/bigger>
<image.tiff>
_______________________________________________
gardenwriters
mailing
list
gardenwriters@lists.ibiblio.org
http://lists.ibiblio.org/mailman/listinfo/gardenwriters
GWL
has searchable archives
at:
http://www.hort.net/lists/gardenwriters
Send photos for GWL to
gwlphotos@hort.net to be posted
at:
http://www.hort.net/lists/gwlphotos
Post gardening questions/threads
to
"Organic-Gardening"
<organic-gardening@lists.ibiblio.org>
For GWL website and Wiki,
go
to
http://www.ibiblio.org/gardenwriters
_______________________________________________
gardenwriters
mailing
list
gardenwriters@lists.ibiblio.org
http://lists.ibiblio.org/mailman/listinfo/gardenwriters
GWL
has searchable archives
at:
http://www.hort.net/lists/gardenwriters
Send photos for GWL to
gwlphotos@hort.net to be posted
at:
http://www.hort.net/lists/gwlphotos
Post gardening questions/threads
to
"Organic-Gardening"
<organic-gardening@lists.ibiblio.org>
For GWL website and Wiki,
go to
http://www.ibiblio.org/gardenwriters
_______________________________________________
gardenwriters
mailing
list
gardenwriters@lists.ibiblio.org
http://lists.ibiblio.org/mailman/listinfo/gardenwriters
GWL
has searchable archives
at:
http://www.hort.net/lists/gardenwriters
Send photos for GWL to
gwlphotos@hort.net to be posted
at:
http://www.hort.net/lists/gwlphotos
Post gardening questions/threads
to
"Organic-Gardening"
<organic-gardening@lists.ibiblio.org>
For GWL website and Wiki,
go to
http://www.ibiblio.org/gardenwriters
|
