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Re: [GWL]: Query Openings & "I"

I accidentally deleted Mary Lynn's post, would someone forward it to me
again. Thanks.
gloria
----- Original Message -----
From: Carol Deppe <caroldeppe@yahoo.com>
To: <Gardenwriters@topica.com>
Sent: Saturday, September 29, 2001 12:37 PM
Subject: [GWL]: Query Openings & "I"


>
> Mary Lynn wrote:
> > Avoid beginning paragraphs (and most sentences, if you can) with "I."
> > These
> > are, above all, sales letters which should focus on "you" (as in you,
> > the
> > editor or you, the potential readers).  e.g "Your readers would benefit
> > from
> > my expertise in skunk cabbage culture" as opposed to "I have years of
> > experience in studying skunk cabbages."
>
> For the list in general --
> The basic object to the ban on the word "I" is to avoid putting editors
> or readers off by sounding self-centered or arrogant.  It shouldn't be
> considered a hard and fast rule, though.   When the query or article is
> based upon your own original research, for example, you either use a
> judicious number of "I"s or you creat confusion, clumsiness, or even
> unreadable writing.  Scientific papers are the ultimate in avoidance of
> "I" as well as the ultimate in turgidity and unreadability.
>
> The instruction to focus on "you" (the editor or the reader) instead of
> "I" is a common one in courses, seminars, and articles for beginning
> writers.  I usually don't go along with this either.  One of my own
> personal rules:  NEVER tell an editor what he is going to think.  I
> really resent it when an article or ad tells me what I'm going to think.
>  When you tell an editor what his readers are going to think, it's right
> next door to telling him what he is going to think.  The editor
> undoubtedly thinks he has a much better idea of what his readers need or
> are going to think that I do, and probably does.  (He reads letters to
> the editor; freelancers don't.)  Also, I try to avoid self-praise.
> "Your readers would benefit from my expertise in..." seems too close to
> self-praise to my tastes.
>
> If I were a skunk-cabbage expert proposing a story I might start my
> query with something like "For the last twenty years I have spent most
> of my waking hours in the skunk cabbage patch.  My story "Life among the
> Skunk Cabbages" will be..."  This approach uses "I," but deemphasizes it
> by moving it to the interior of the sentence.
>
> Note, by the way, the use of "my story...WILL," not "my story...WOULD."
> To my ear, "would" sounds pessimistic and insecure. "Will" projects
> cheerful confidence.  This editor is going to buy the story, it
> projects; if not, some other editor will.
>
> Carol Deppe
> Author of BREED YOUR OWN VEGETABLE VARIETIES:  THE GARDENER'S AND
> FARMER'S GUIDE TO PLANT BREEDING AND SEED SAVING (See table of contents,
> excerpts, & reviews at http://www.chelseagreen.com.)
>
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