Re: Fw: Children
ROTFLOLOL!!
xoxoxoxo
Gerry/Bob O'Neill wrote:
> >> -----Original Message-----
> >> Subject: Children
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> > For those who already have children past this age,
> >> > this is hilarious.
> >> >
> >> > For those who have children nearing this age, this is
> >> > a warning!
> >> >
> >> > For those who are grandparents, revenge is sweet.
> >> >
> >> > For those who have not yet had children, THIS IS BIRTH
> >> > CONTROL!
> >> >
> >> > The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin,
> >> > TX (poor woman!)
> >> >
> >> > Things I've learned from my children (Honest and No
> >> > Kidding):
> >> >
> >> > 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a
> >> > 2,000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.
> >> >
> >> > 2. If you spay hair spray on dust bunnies and run over
> >> > them with roller blades, they can ignite.
> >> >
> >> > 3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a
> >> > crowded restaurant.
> >> >
> >> > 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
> >> > motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy
> >> > wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is
> >> > strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four
> >> > walls of a 20X20 foot room.
> >> >
> >> > 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling
> >> > fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you
> >> > have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a
> >> > hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
> >> >
> >> > 6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't
> >> > stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
> >> >
> >> > 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words
> >> > "Uh-oh", it's already too late.
> >> >
> >> > 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots
> >> > of it.
> >> >
> >> 9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock
> >> > even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it
> >> > in the movies.
> >> >
> >> > 10. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an
> >> > overcast day.
> >> >
> >> > 11. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive
> >> > tract of a four-year-old.
> >> >
> >> > 12. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in
> >> > the same sentence.
> >> >
> >> > 13. Super glue is forever.
> >> >
> >> > 14. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming
> >> > pool, you still can't walk on water.
> >> >
> >> > 15. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
> >> >
> >> > 16. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV
> >> > commercials show they do.
> >> >
> >> > 17. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
> >> >
> >> > 18. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
> >> > driving.
> >> >
> >> > 19. You probably do not want to know what that odor
> >> > is.
> >> >
> >> > 20. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
> >> >
> >> > 21. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
> >> >
> >> > 22. The fire department in Austin, Texas has a
> >> > 5-minute response time.
> >> >
> >> > 23. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
> >> > make earth worms dizzy. It will, however, make cats
> >> > dizzy and cats throw up twice their body weight when
> >> > dizzy.
> >> -------------------------------------------------------------
> >> Emer Dean Broadbent, JD, PhD
> >> Staff Project Coordinator, Disability Research Institute
> >> University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign College of Applied Life Studies
> >> 158 Rehabilitation Education Center, MC-575
> >> 1207 S. Oak Street, Champaign, IL 61820 USA
> >> Phone: (217)265-0279 Fax: (217)265-0358
> >>
> >
> >
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