Off topic -- improvements offered to English Language...

> This one came across my monitor this AM and I thought others here might get a kick out of it...
> Maybe some have not had the benefit of a good chuckle today?

Andrew L.
--------------------

> The New English
> The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
> will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was
> the other possibility.  As part of the negotiations,Her Majesty's
> government conceded that English spelling had some room for
> improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known
> as "EuroEnglish."
>  In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".  Sertainly, this will
> make the sivil servants jump
> with joy.
>  The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k:"  This should klear up
> konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
>  There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
> troublesome "ph" will be replased with the "f."  This will make words
> like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
>  In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
> to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
> Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters,which have
> always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
>  Also, al wil agre that the horible mess of the silent "e"s in the
> language is disgraseful and they
> should go away.
>  By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
> with "z"and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be
> dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and similar changes vud of kors be aplid
> to ozer kombinations of leters.
>  After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
> mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech
> ozer.
> ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!!!! And zen ve vil take over ze vorld!!!!

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