Slightly risque

Smart Lawyer


 A little  old lady went into the Bank of Canada
 one day, carrying a bag of money. 
 She insisted that she must speak with the president 
 of the bank to open a savings account because, 
 "It's a lot of money!"
 After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff
 finally ushered her into the president's office 
 (the customer is always right)! 
 The bank president then asked her how much
 she  would like to deposit. 
 She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped
 the cash out of her bag onto his desk.
 The president was  of course curious as to how
 she  came by all this cash,
 so he asked her, "Ma'am,  I'm surprised you're
 carrying so  much cash around. 
 Where did you get this money?"
 The old lady replied, "I make bets."
 The president then asked, "Bets?
 What  kind of bets?"
 The old woman said, "well, for example, 
 I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."
 "Ha!" laughed the president,
 "That's a stupid bet. 
 You can never win that kind of  bet!"
 The old lady challenged, 
 "So, would you like to take my bet?"
 "Sure," said the president, 
 "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"
 The little old lady than said,
 "Okay, but  since there is a lot of money involved, 
 may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 A.M. 
 as a  witness?"
 "Sure!" replied the confident  president.
 That night, the president got very  nervous
 about the bet and spent a long time in front of
 mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side,
 again and again.
 He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that 
 there was absolutely no way his balls were square and 
 that he would win the bet.
 The  next morning, at precisely 10:00 A.M., the
 little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the
 president's office.
 She introduced the lawyer to the president and
 repeated  the bet"
 "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!"
 The president agreed with the bet
 again and the old lady  asked him to drop his pants 
 so they could all see.   
 The president complied. 
 The little old lady peered closely at his balls and 
 then asked if she could feel them.
 "Well, okay," said the president,
 $25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely
 sure." 
 Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging 
 his head against the wall.
 The president asked the old lady,
 "What the  hell's the matter with your lawyer?"
 She replied,  "Nothing, except I bet him
 $100,000 that at 10:00  A.M. today, 
 I'd have the Bank of Canada's  president's balls in my hand."





 A pretty girl is driving through the west. Her car runs out of gas, and
 an Indian comes along on a horse and gives her a ride to a gas station.
 
 Every few minutes he lets out a wild whoop that would curdle milk.
 Finally, he drops her off with a final "Yaaaaaa-Hoooooo!" and gallops
 off.
 
 "My god!" says the gas station guy. "What were you doing to that Indian
 to make him holler like that?" "Why, nothing," says the girl, "I just
 sat behind him with my arms around him, holding onto his saddle horn."
 
 "Lady," says the guy, "Indians don't use saddles."





  A nurse was on duty in the Emergency room, when a young woman
with
> > > purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety
of
> > tattoos,
> > > and wearing strange clothing, entered.  It was quickly determined
the
> > patient
> > > had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate
surgery.
When
> > she
> > > was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed
that
> her
> > > pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo
that
> read,
> > &
> > > quote;  'Keep off the grass'.
> > >        Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short
note
on
> > the
> > > patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn".
> >
> >
>


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