Corporate Life (?) 2001
- To: S*@aol.com
- Subject: Corporate Life (?) 2001
- From: S*@aol.com
- Date: Mon, 19 Feb 2001 23:48:14 EST
>
> 1) MARKETING You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose
> a marketing degree to
> avoid having to study in college, concentrating
> instead on drinking and
> socializing which is pretty much what your job
> responsibilities are now.
> Least compatible with Sales.
> 2) SALES Laziest of all signs, often referred to as
> "marketing without a
> degree." You are also self centered and paranoid.
> Unless someone calls you
> and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid
> contact with customers so
> you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek
> admiration for your golf
> game throughout your life.
> 3) TECHNOLOGY Unable to control anything in your
> personal life, you are
> instead content to completely control everything
> that happens at your
> workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you
> are saying but who the
> heck can tell. It is written that Geeks shall
> inherit the Earth.
> 4) ENGINEERING One of only two signs that actually
> studied in school. It is
> said that ninety percent of all Personal Ads are
> placed by engineers. You
> can be happy with yourself; your office is full of
> all the latest "ergo
> dynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is
> really causing your "carpal
> tunnel syndrome."
> 5) ACCOUNTING The only other sign that studied in
> school. You are mostly
> immune from office politics. You are the most feared
> person in the
> organization; combined with your extreme
> organizational traits, the majority
> of rumors concerning you say that you are completely
> insane.
> 6) HUMAN RESOURCES Ironically, given your access to
> confidential information,
> you tend to be the biggest gossip within the
> organization. Possibly the only
> other person that does less work than marketing, you
> are unable to return any
> calls today because you have to get a haircut, have
> lunch and THEN mail a
> letter.
> 7) MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT Catty, cutthroat,
> yet completely spineless,
> you are destined to remain at your current job for
> the rest of your life.
> Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure
> your worth by the number
> of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best
> suited to marry other "Middle
> Managers" as everyone in you social circle is a
> "Middle Manager."
> 8) SENIOR MANAGEMENT See above - Same sign,
> different title)
> 9) CUSTOMER SERVICE Bright, cheery, positive, you
> are a fifty-cent cab ride
> from taking your own life. As children very few of
> you asked your parents for
> a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you
> could pretend to play
> "Customer Service." Continually passed over for
> promotions, your best bet is
> to sleep with your manager.
> 10) CONSULTANT Lacking any specific knowledge, you
> use acronyms to avoid
> revealing your utter lack of experience. You have
> convinced yourself that
> your "skills" are in demand and that you could get a
> higher paying job with
> any other organization in a heartbeat. You will
> spend an eternity
> contemplating these career opportunities without
> ever taking direct action.
> 11) RECRUITER, "HEADHUNTER" As a "person" that
> profits from the success of
> others, you are disdained by most people who
> actually work for a living.
> Paid on commission and susceptible to alcoholism,
> your ulcers and frequent
> heart attacks correspond directly with fluctuations
> in the stock market.
> 12) PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO You are brilliant or
> lucky. Your inability to
> figure out complex systems such as the fax machine
> suggest the latter.
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