Fwd: The Things You Can Learn From Your Children

In a message dated 02/20/2001 2:43:51 PM Eastern Standard Time, SUONEILL
writes:


Subj:     The Things You Can Learn From Your Children    

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas.

THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN...(HONEST AND NO KIDDING):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house
   4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
   blades, they can ignite.

3. A three year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
   restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
   enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to
spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
   using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
   times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by
   a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too
   late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36
   year old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying
   glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

10. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a four year
   old.

11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
   walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show
   they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not
   like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms
   dizzy.

22. It will however make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

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  • Subject: The Things You Can Learn From Your Children
  • From: S*@aol.com
  • Date: Tue, 20 Feb 2001 14:43:51 EST
  • Content-Disposition: Inline
  • Full-name: SUONEILL
Subj: The Things You Can Learn From Your Children

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas.

THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN...(HONEST AND NO KIDDING):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house
    4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
    blades, they can ignite.

3. A three year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
    restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
    enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to
spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
    using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
    times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by
    a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too
    late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36
    year old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying
    glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

10. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a four year
    old.

11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
    walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show
    they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not
    like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms
    dizzy.

22. It will however make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

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