Re: Fw: Jokes
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- Subject: Re: Fw: Jokes
- From: ShayDguy@aol.com
- Date: Tue, 6 Jun 2000 08:54:13 EDT
An elderly couple had been dating for some time and decided it was
finally time to marry. Before the wedding they embarked on a long
conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed
finances, living arrangements
and so on. Finally the old man decided it was time to broach the subject
of their connubial relationship. "How do you feel about sex?" he asked,
"Well, I'd have to say I like it infrequently," she responded.
The old guy paused....then he asked, "Was that one word or two?"
A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds
when he entered a patient's room. He found his patient
sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in
half. Another patient was hanging from the ceiling, by his
The doctor asked his patient what he was doing.
The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece
of wood in half?"
The doctor inquired, "And what is the fellow hanging from
the ceiling doing?"
"Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks
he's a lightbulb."
The doctor asks, "If he's your friend, you should get him
down from there before he hurts himself"
"What? And work in the dark?"
<< Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor
and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban
neighborhood. They parked their truck at one end of the
alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last
house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the
two men as they checked her gas meter.
Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged
his younger co-worker to a foot race down the alley back to
the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger
As they came running up to the truck, they realized that
the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right
behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men
running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run
<< The junior high school principal had a problem with some
girls who were starting to use lipstick. When applying it
in the bathroom they would blot their lips on the mirrors,
leaving lip prints.
So he spoke to the teachers and asked them for their help.
They promised they would speak to the girls, but after two
weeks, the situation didn't improve at all.
He even called a few of the girls parents who were his
friends for their advice, but to no avail. The mirrors were
constantly a mess.
Finally he thought of a way to stop it. One day he gathered
together all the girls who wore lipstick. He then took them
into the bathroom and lectured about how hard it was to
clean the lipstick off the mirrors.
You could see the young girls smiling at each other, all
nodding publicly but smirking to one another.
The principle then asked the custodian, who was present,
to demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors.
The custodian took a long handled brush, dipped it into
the toilet and vigorously rubbed the lipstick off the
From that day forward, the mirrors stayed lipstick free
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