Practice for Darwin

Set Up 
A company called "Guns For Hire" stages gunfights for Western movies, etc. 
One day, they received a call from a 47-year old woman, who wanted to have 
her husband killed. She got 4-1/2 years in jail.



Too Many Pennies
David Posman, 33, was arrested in Providence, Rhode Island, after knocking 
out an armored car driver and stealing four bags of money. Each bag contained 
$800 dollars. However, the bags weighed thirty pounds each since they all 
contained PENNIES. The hefty bags slowed the fleeting Posman to a sluggish 
stagger. Police easily ran down and arrested the suspect. 



You Are Getting Sleepy - You Are Getting Sleepy
When two men broke into his office in Milian, Italy, professional hypnotist 
Filadelfio Munafo, 39, put them in a trance - or so he thought until he told 
them to hand over their guns and they shot him. He explained later, "I was 
sure I had them in my power."



Run Over 
An English bank robber planned the perfect heist. Every detail was perfectly 
orchestrated; the ideal robbery time, the type of gun to use, a place to hide 
the loot, a getaway route and car, and even a reliable accomplice. After 
robbing the bank, the man left with the money in a bag over his left 
shoulder. As he approached the spot of the getaway car, his accomplice 
promptly ran him over.

Need A Lift?
Police in Coram, New York, reported that a man flagged down an unmarked 
police car and offered two detectives crack cocaine to drive him home. 
According to police spokesperson Mark Ryan, the detectives were just 
returning from a drug bust and were wearing blue jackets identifying them as 
Suffolk County Police in big white letters


Jacksonville, Florida
A Jacksonville, Florida robber couldn't quite get it together when it came to 
disguising himself. He stuck up a grocery store, wearing a paper bag with 
cut-out eyeholes over his head. But during the attempted stickup, the bag 
shifted and the eyeholes were no longer over his eyes, so he couldn't see a 
thing. To make matters worse, a few seconds later the bag split open, 
completely revealing his face to the sales clerk. She immediately recognized 
him as a regular customer - and called the cops when he left.




Go Ahead... Take It!
Mrs. Hollis Sharpe was walking her poodle, one night on a Los Angeles street 
when she was attacked by a mugger, shoved to the ground, and forced to hand 
over her purse. No doubt congratulating himself on his easy mugging, the 
mugger ran off. Unfortunately for the mugger, inside Mrs. Hollis Sharpe's 
purse was just one item: a plastic bag she had just finished using to scoop 
up after her poodle. 



Check This Out
A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather 
than serve a prison sentence. For payment, he provided the court a check -- a 
forged check. He got 10 years.



Come Again
A Houston armed robber was finally caught after eight holdups in three 
months. What broke the case? He kept on robbing the same store, he never 
bothered wearing a mask... and he kept holding up the same sales clerk.



Please, Please, Please
Frank Gort, a San Antonio burglar, was caught and convicted. When it came 
time for sentencing, the judge gave him seven years. Gort was very upset - 
and begged the judge not to sentence him to seven years because seven was his 
unlucky number. The understanding judge complied. He gave him eight years.



Detroit, Michigan
Two Michigan robbers charged into a Detroit music store waving their guns. 
"Nobody move!" one of the robbers ordered. The second robber then moved - and 
the first shot him in the head.



Submitted By: Al Farmer
I am retired from St. Louis County Sheriff Department in Duluth MN. after 27 
years as a corrections officer. Once, while working the court lock-up, a man 
came to the lock-up to get car keys from a friend who was in custody, so he 
could move his car for him. I told the man I would have to pat-search him 
before I could allow him into the lock-up. He consented to the search, and I 
found a large baggie of marijuana in one of his jacket pockets. He appeared 
in afternoon court on charges of possession of marijuana and introducing 
contraband into a lockup.




Caught In The Act  

South Carolina 
A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the 
counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked 
that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.



 Whats That Racket? 
In Washington two prisoners were caught in an attempt to escape. Seems one of 
their fellow inmates complained to a guard about the noise coming for their 
cell area. The guard caught them in the act.
 



Case Closed
After representing himself in court and twice winning acquittals on charges 
of writing worthless checks and assult, Reinero Torress Jr., of Sebring, 
Florida, lost a third case. He was convicted of theft for having stolen law 
books from the court house library to prepare his defense for the first two 
cases.



Not The Sharpest Knife In The Draw
In Modesto, CA. Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank 
of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to 
simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.


 

Unusual Break-Ins  

One Dumb Crook
A fellow robbed a supermarket of about $5000. The local newspaper ran the 
story, but with the amount given as $7000. The thief called the newspaper to 
complain about the inaccuracy and to suggest that maybe the store manager 
ripped off the extra $2000 and was unjustly blaming the thief. The people at 
the newspaper kept him busy on the phone giving his version of the story 
while the police traced the call to a phone booth and arrived to arrest him 
while he was still talking to the newspaper!



Thanks For The "Tip"
A man broke into a jewelry store in the middle of the night. Once inside he 
broke the glass case to extract the jewelry -- so excited and anxious to get 
his hands on the diamonds in the case he did not notice, that when he broke 
the glass, with his hand, he cut the tip end of one of his fingers off. When 
police did arrive, they merely fished the top portion of the finger out, 
printed it, and ran a match program. The man was arrested within a few hours 
of his crime.



Somewhere In Belgium 
A Belgium news agency reported in November that a man suspected of robbing a 
jewelry store said he couldn't have done it because he was busy breaking into 
a school at the same time. Police then arrested him for breaking into the 
school.


 

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