Late Nite Pols
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- Subject: Late Nite Pols
- From: ShayDguy@aol.com
- Date: Fri, 20 Oct 2000 09:10:51 EDT
"Joe Lieberman would be the first Jewish person to serve directly under a
president since -- well, since Monica," and further, that the recent polls
have made Al Gore so confident that "he has actually started raising cash
Jay Leno's line that Bush "has fried so many convicts they shouldn't call him
governor, they should call him the Colonel."
It's like you go to a party and girls say about you, 'That guy's gay.' Well,
you've lost half the crowd already." MAYBE, BUT THE HALF THAT'S LEFT MIGHT
BE REALLY FUN!!!!!!!!!!
The flash point of the interview came with the easiest question. "You often
say, 'I'm a uniter, not a divider,"' Letterman said. "What does that mean?"
Bush smiled fatuously through a few painful moments of satellite drift. Then,
skating to the edge of coherence, he replied: "It means when it comes time to
sew up your chest cavity, we use stitches as opposed to opening it up!" As a
tasteless and contorted reference to the host's recent heart surgery, this
comment was baffling on many levels.
Dennis Miller showed an A.P. wire photo of Gore high-fiving a boy as Miller
read the vice president's ostensible words: "Hey there, young fella, make
contact with my hand above shoulder level with appropriate force to make a
short slapping sound."
"It's been fascinating to watch the character of Bush develop," says Chris
Harris, another "Late Show" writer. "Eventually he started making all these
gaffes -- and we realized, he's a dumb guy. There's no better cliche than the
Dumb Guy. We can plug that into any formula." Just as with Dan Quayle, the
Dunce label has proven durable.
After George W. Bush used an epithet beginning with "A" to describe a New
York Times reporter a few weeks ago, Jay Leno told me he regretted cutting
the previous night's joke about how, in politics, the A-word used to mean
adultery. "That Bush comment is worth a week of jokes, easy!" he said. "At
least it was a two-syllable word. For Bush, that's a step up."
In late July, Letterman casually mentioned that Bush and Cheney were getting
along so well that their weekend plans were "to pick up some six-packs and
watch an execution." A few weeks later, Jay Leno touched an even more
sensitive nerve, a twofer: "They executed a guy with an I.Q. of 63. Can you
believe it? Bush turning his back on one of his own!"
The bit ended with Bush's endorsement of his running mate: "I was always
around when Dick Cheney and my dad worked together. I'd hear 'em working in
the front room when I'd stumble in all high."
: "Bush promises to spend an additional $13 billion on education. O.K.,
George, that covers you. Now what about the rest of the country?"
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