hort.net Seasonal photo, (c) 2006 Christopher P. Lindsey, All Rights Reserved: do not copy
articles | gallery of plants | blog | tech blog | plant profiles | patents | mailing lists | top stories | links | shorturl service | tom clothier's archive0
Gallery of Plants
Tech Blog
Plant Profiles
Mailing Lists
    Search ALL lists
    Search help
    Subscription info
Top Stories
sHORTurl service
Tom Clothier's Archive
 Top Stories
New Trillium species discovered

Disease could hit Britain's trees hard

Ten of the best snowdrop cultivars

Plant protein database helps identify plant gene functions

Dendroclimatologists record history through trees

Potato beetle could be thwarted through gene manipulation

Hawaii expands coffee farm quarantine

Study explains flower petal loss

RSS story archive


     Jerry Falwell's Falwell Ministries announced today that it had
purchased 51% of the voting stock of TSR, Inc., the Wisconsin based
publisher of the Dungeons and Dragons game, after a lengthy and
secretive process of negotiations begun at least five years ago.
     According to a source near the top of TSR, the negotiations
began after Lorraine Wilson, the president of TSR, first attended
her local Baptist church. 'She came back saying, "Praise the Lord,
I have been saved from the pit of hell,"' and then began the
process of reworking the Dungeons and Dragons game to remove any
and all references to Devils or Demons. Since that time TSR has
published a new edition of Dungeons and Dragons with no devils or
demons in it, and has also expanded into other markets, with an
emphasis on board-games and paperback original novels. According to
this same source, Ms. Wilson has also had several meetings since
then with famed church-victim Jessica Hahn and John Kruk, star
first-baseman of the Philadelphia Phillies and testicular-cancer
victim. `She's trying to understand victims,' the source said. `She
wants to make Dungeons and Dragons into a kinder and gentler game
     Reverend Falwell made a short announcement at a press
conference this morning at which he said "Dungeons and Dragons will
soon bring traditional all-american Christian morality back into
the hearts of those who have left the fold. The New Dungeons and
Dragons will reward players for possessing family values instead of
for robbing and murdering peaceful gas-station attendants, as they
did formerly." Reverend Falwell then left for Cabo San Lucas,
Mexico, in the company of Lorraine Wilson, shouting "I feel good!"
and explaining, "Time to ditch my old lady and get me a brand new
     Jerry Falwell's Falwell Ministries is the successor to the
Moral Majority, which tried to influence national policy by serving
as a voluntary moral barometer for the United States during the
terms of Ronald Reagan's presidency.

To sign-off this list, send email to majordomo@mallorn.com with the

 © 1995-2017 Mallorn Computing, Inc.All Rights Reserved.
Our Privacy Statement
Other Mailing lists | Author Index | Date Index | Subject Index | Thread Index