Re: Fw: [Fwd: (no subject)]
Whichever you are, I hate you. And we will discuss it no more because I'm
not interested in it. Whatever it is. What was the question?
Daniel Nelson wrote:
> Since Hosta-open is a little quiet today I though I might try to get a
> debate going between Evolutionist and Creationist.........
> Or maybe a comment from someone who's a little of both.
> Dan Nelson
> And God Said, Let There Be Light in Kansas
> By Gene Weingarten
> Washington Post Staff Writer
> Saturday, August 14, 1999; Page C01
> To: The members of the Kansas Board of Education
> From: God
> Re: Your decision to eliminate the teaching of evolution as science.
> Thank you for your support. Much obliged.
> Now, go forth and multiply. Beget many children. And yea, your children
> shall beget children. And their children shall beget children, and their
> children's children after them. And in time the genes that have made you
> such pinheads will be eliminated through natural selection. Because that
> is how it works.
> Listen, I love all my creatures equally, and gave each his own special
> qualities to help him on Earth. The horse I gave great strength. The
> antelope I gave great grace and speed. The dung beetle I gave great
> stupidity, so he doesn't realize he is a dung beetle. Man I gave a
> Use it, okay?
> I admit I am not perfect. I've made errors. (cellulite--what was I
> thinking?) But do you Kansans seriously believe that I dropped
> half-a-billion-year-old trilobite skeletons all over my great green
> Earth by mistake? What, I had a few lying around from some previous
> creation in the Andromeda galaxy, and they fell through a hole in my
> You were supposed to find them. And once you found them, you were
> supposed to draw the appropriate, intelligent conclusions. That's what I
> made you for. To think.
> The folks who wrote the Bible were smart and good people. Mostly, they
> got it right. But there were glitches. Imprecisions. For one thing, they
> said that Adam and Eve begat Cain and Abel, and then Cain begat Enoch.
> How was that supposed to have happened?
> They left out Tiffany entirely!
> Well, they also were a little off on certain elements of timing and
> sequence. So what?
> You guys were supposed to figure it all out for yourselves, anyway. When
> you stumble over the truth, you are not supposed to pick yourself up,
> dust yourself off and proceed on as though nothing had happened. If you
> find a dinosaur's toe, you're not supposed to look for reasons to call
> it a croissant. You're not big, drooling idiots. For that, I made dogs.
> Why do you think there are no fossilized human toes dating from a
> hundred million years ago? Think about it.
> It's okay if you think. In fact, I prefer it. That's why I like Charlie
> Darwin. He was always a thinker. Still is. He and I chat frequently.
> I know a lot of people figure that if man evolved from other organisms,
> it means I don't exist. I have to admit this is a reasonable assumption
> and a valid line of thought. I am in favor of thought. I encourage you
> to pursue this concept with an open mind, and see where it leads you.
> That's all I have to say right now, except that I'm really cheesed off
> at laugh tracks on sitcoms, and the NRA, and people who make simple
> declarative sentences sound like questions?
> Oh, wait. There's one more thing.
> Did you read in the newspapers yesterday how scientists in Australia dug
> up some rocks and found fossilized remains of life dating back further
> than ever before? Primitive, multicelled animals on Earth nearly 3
> billion years ago, when the planet was nothing but roiling muck and ice
> and fire. And inside those cells was . . . DNA. Incredibly complex
> strands of chemicals, laced together in a scheme so sophisticated no one
> yet understands exactly how it works.
> I wonder who could have thought of something like that, back then.
> Just something to gnaw on.
> © Copyright 1999 The Washington Post Company
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