Here's another!

---

• To: Multiple recipients of list SQFT <S*@UMSLVMA.UMSL.EDU>
• Subject: Here's another!
• From: R* W* <r*@USA.NET>
• Date: Thu, 30 Jan 1997 21:24:29 +0000
• Comments: Authenticated sender is <rogerwilko@pop.netaddress.com>
• Priority: normal

Howdy!

Here's another rib-tickler for you good folk,  I'll be getting
serious later and asking how to grow some veg. in my small garden!

Enjoy!

The Psychiatric Hotline...

"Hello, and welcome to the Psychiatric
 Hotline ...

 "If you are obsessive-compulsive, please
 press 1 repeatedly.

 "If you are codependent, please ask
 someone to press 2.

 "If you have multiple personalities,
 please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

 "If you are paranoid-schizophrenic, we
 know who you are and what you
  want. Just stay on the line so we can
  trace the call.

 "If you are psychotic, listen carefully
 and a little voice will tell
  you which number to press.

 "If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't
 matter which number you
  press. No one will answer.

 "If you are delusional and occasionally
 hallucinate, please be aware
  that the thing you are holding on the
  side of your head is alive and about to
  bite off your ear.

 "If you are suicidal, please hold for
 the next available operator.
  Your call will be answered in the order
  it was received. Please do not hang up
  and re-dial, as this will only delay
  the processing of your call. Currently,
  you are number 381; estimated wait time
  is three hours, twenty minutes. If you
  prefer to change your psychiatric
  affliction, press zero at any time to
  return to the main menu ..."

Over and out.

Rog.

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