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Re: An Important News Item

I think this person is trying very hard to get off the SQFT list--and should be removed immediately.  This is a real example of abuse of the Internet...and a reason why I can't let my young daughter use it.



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From:   Roger Wilko[SMTP:rogerwilko@USA.NET]
Sent:   Thursday, January 30, 1997 1:18 PM
To:     Multiple recipients of list SQFT
Subject:        An Important News Item

Howdy Squarefooters! Or should that be squarefeeters?

Just by way of an intro I thought I'd send you a news item from
"Fire - Rescue" magazine . . .

Enjoy!

MAN CAUGHT BY HIS CATFLAP

"In retrospect, I admit it was unwise to try to gain access to my
house via the catflap," Gunter Burpus admitted to reporters in Bremen,
Germany. "I suppose that the reason they're called cat flaps, rather
than human flaps, is because they're too small for people, and perhaps
I should have realized that."  Burpus (41), a gardener from Breman,
was relating how he had become trapped in his own front door for two
days, after losing his house keys.  "I got my head and shoulders
through the flap but became trapped fast around the waist.  At first,
it all seemed rather amusing, I sang songs and told myself jokes.  But
then I wanted to go to the lavatory.

"I began shouting for help, but my head was in the hallway so my
screams were muffled.  After a few hours, a group of students
approached me but, instead of helping, they removed my trousers and
pants, painted my buttocks bright blue, and stuck a daffodil between
my cheeks.  Then they placed a sign next to me which said 'Germany
resurgent, an essay in street art.  Please give generously' and left
me there.

"People were passing by and, when I asked for help, they just said
'Very good! Very clever!'  and threw coins into my trousers.  No one
tried to free me.  In fact, I only got free after two days because a
dog started licking my private parts and an old woman complained to
the police.  The rescue services came and cut me out, but the police
arrested me as soon as I was free.
 Luckily, they've now dropped the charges, and I collected over
 DM3,000
($2,000) in my underpants, so the time wasn't entirely wasted."

Over and out.

Rog.
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