Re: Re: OT-Plants: 'taters

Friends,

The discussion of potatoes has come just in time to spare me the challenge of
formulating a response to a plea for help from my cousin, Virgil Unglueck.
Virgil does not come from a potato state, and I will not mention which state
he does come from, in order to spare embarassment to any of you who may happen
to be from that state. Suffice it to say that Virgil is a city person, all of
whose food comes either in cans, bottles or wrapped in plastic. Nonetheless,
he is a connoisseur of potatoes. So, when Virgil inherited his uncle's small
farm outside of town, I was not surprised when he told me that he was going to
grow his own potatoes. Well, maybe a little surprised, since Virgil knows
absolutely nothing about gardening. But he's the sort of fellow who's willing
to try anything. It would just help if he'd read up on things first.

Well, I got a message from Virgil the other day. "Cousin," he wrote, "I have
tried everything I know to grow potatoes and nothing is working. Uncle Horace
always said that potatoes were a good buy, because what you didn't eat, you
could plant. Just stick 'em in the ground, he said, and nature would do the
rest. Well, I like scalloped potatoes a lot, so I planted some of them and
waited for 6 weeks. Nothing happened. I figured maybe it was the cheese. So I
tried hash browns. Same thing. Baked potatoes didn't do any better. I planted
the French fries in the shade - figured they couldn't take the heat - but no
results. The home fries didn't come up either. I've tried boiled potatoes and
even potato salad, but it's the same story. I've about reached my limit and
tomorrow I'm going to try mashed potatoes. Do you think their being lumpy will
hurt or help?"

Fortunately, I will be able to forward your potato messages to Virgil, and I
think that after reading them, he will know what to do. And I won't have to
tell him.

Happy New Year! - Griff

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