Re: OT: Humor

Duane Buell wrote:
> 
> I hope this isn't out of line, but I thought it was worth
> sharing. . . . A day came when he ended up on the rifle range.
> After he fired several rounds at his target, word came back from
> the spotters that he had missed every shot . . .

Duane -- This reminds me of my own experience on the rifle range all
those many years ago. A bout with bronchitis had landed me in sick bay
during the week leading up to range week in basic training. I
successfully stuck the thermometer in the cold water jug so that I was
"normal" for three feedings and was let out in time to avoid being
transferred back out of my training unit. It was now qualifications
week, and I had missed the week of practice leading up to it. The word
went out in my company: "Crump has to qualify." (The key to
understanding this is that while half of the company fired for record,
the other half manned the target pits.)  Well, I can tell you, any time
my shot didn't kick up dirt in front of the target, thanks to my
comrades, I got a bullseye! Only if I actually kicked up dirt did I get
"Maggie's drawers" -- the red flag signifying a miss. I ended up with a
"Marksman" badge. I fared better (?) in bayonet training. The drill was
to answer correctly, while demonstrating the answer, the question, "What
is the mission of the bayonet?." The answer was, "To KILL!" I shouted
this savagely enough while lunging at the "field first" as he passed by
that he designated me a bayonet instructor. Accordingly, I spent the
rest of basic training instructing other trainees in the art of jabbing
dummies until my hands bled. Fortunately, I never had to use this skill
(although I did hold a bad guy at dagger point during some tense wee
hours once upon a time in the Middle East). I must confess, however,
that I have had an almost overpowering urge, ever since, to stick it to
dummies!

Griff Crump, along the tidal Potomac near Mount Vernon, VA 
jgcrump@erols.com
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