OT: humor, naming iris

At 08:15 PM 7/30/99 EDT, you wrote:
>From: Gardenhous@aol.com
>
>Mike and Everyone out there in Hapy Iris Land,
>
>This is a very very sad story I have to tell and it has afffected me all my
>life. I grew up in Concord Mass a kid in the 1950s and everyone rode bikes
>that had name license plates on them. Except me. There has never been a
>Doreen preprinted on anything. No Funny pens, stationary etc. They named the
>dolls Barbie not Doreen. Songs? G- L- O- R- I -A not Doreen. So any one
>with a seedling to name could it be ? FOR DOREEN.
>
>And Suttons not only am I a good customer but I feel a pink named FOR
>DOREEN will match my sunburned skin attained planting, killing borer and
>weeding.
>
>Yours in IRIS LAND
>
>Doreen F. McCabe
>PS Maybe this story line could also be used as a continuing drama special
> like in spring it would be called
>DOREENS ROTTEN WORLD,,in summer Doreens Desert Storm a war story on borer
>and lack of rain and in winter .................
Dear Doreen -
Your sad tale of woe touched my heart, because I have a similar slight that has festered all my life. When I was 6 I had a birthday party, and never had another one since. Every year in school, when the other little tads had birthdays, they all got parties, but never me, because my birthday came on July 26 when school was out.
My mother and older sister were both in the fashion industry, and spent their lives trying to look younger than they were, and birthdays were not an event that was ignored, not celebrated. You sent a nasty card, but never mentioned the age.
I seriously considered taking up Cuban Communism, because the anniversary of Fidel Castro's Revolution is 26 Julio, and I figured it would be a grand party, but it's so difficult getting away during rhizome digging season.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "You can cry in the dark, or you can strike a match."
This year I announced, "I'm turning 60, and I mean to have a party." The restaurant where I eat most evenings was happy to set aside a room, and I e-mailed or called all my friends, and we had a grand time. The presents, especially the hammock and the scissors for nose hairs had a practical bent that I appeciated. I even invited my mother, without whose assistance this all would not have been possible.
So, Doreen, I'd say order all the pinks that take your fancy, read up on pollen dabbing, and next spring when the anthers present themselves, and the stimatic lips are moist early in the morning - strike a match for Doreen.
P.S. I'm told the best time to do this is early a.m. before you can get sunburned, though my zero success rate this year has me seriously thinking about seeking professional help in learning about pollen dabbing.
My friends told me I should seek professional help, so maybe they know something after all.
James Brooks
Jonesborough, TN
hirundo@tricon.net
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