OT: No more squirrels

I am informed that there are those among us who not only shrink from the
necessary preliminaries to squirrel stew, but will not even resort to
live-trapping and re-location (of the squirrel, that is), and thus are left in
a quandary.  Well, there are always alternatives, and here are a few:

1.  Cut down all your oak trees and persuade your neighbors to cut down
theirs.

2.  Rent an abandoned football field and plant your irises in the middle of
it.  Squirrels are almost never seen on football fields.

3.  Plant cacti as companion plants.

4.  Construct an eagle's nest in one of your trees. When the eagles arrive,
the squirrels will leave.

5.  Spike acorns with catnip and spread them around the yard. After eating
them, the squirrels will have conniption fits and fall out of the trees.

6.  Get two dogs. If you put only one dog on guard, the squirrels will sneak
down the tree while it is asleep. Two dogs can be trained to sleep in shifts.

--  Griff

zone 7 in Virginia

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