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Badtimes Virus
- To: m*@ucdavis.edu
- Subject: Badtimes Virus
- From: T* F* <s*@west.net>
- Date: Tue, 10 Feb 1998 09:11:37 -0800
> DANGER
> NEW VIRUS WARNING
> DANGER
>
>If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete
>it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous Email
>virus yet.
>
>It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will
>scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will
>recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice
>cream melts and milk curdles.
>
>It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards,
>reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCRand
>use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
>It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. It
>will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all yourbeer
>and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company
>coming over.
>
>It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and
>interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static whilestuck
>in traffic.
>
>Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened pedophile.
>It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will replace
>your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating
>your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing theirhotel
>rendezvous to your Visa card.
>
>It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is
>dead, such is the power of Badtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave
>to sully those things we hold most dear.
>
>Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the
>toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to
>a full bathtub. It will wantonly remove the forbidden tags from your
>mattresses and pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole.
>
>Badtimes will leave your car's left turn indicator on while you're driving in
>the leftmost lane.
>
>It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to
>behold.
>
>It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
>
>These are just a few signs. Be very, very afraid.
>PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!
>
>VirusCentral
>
"When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to
everything else in the universe." - John Muir
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