Dear Friends
In today's mail I came across an envelope from the Armentrout-Wiswal Family - that would be list member Ben Armentrout's family. I expected it to be another of their periodic updates about how Ben, his husband Tom, and their three children growing are doing.
Instead, it is an announcement of a memorial honoring Ben.
My heart is broken. Ben was a big man with a big heart who, with Tom, adopted three children with spina biffida. Ben gave up his landscape business to be a full time daddy to those three, beautiful children. They live in Simi Valley, a suburb north of Los Angeles where the climate is brutally hot and dry. If you recall, Ben's emails to the listerv were often about his struggle to create a family-friendly, climate appropriate garden in their extremely challenging climate.
A year ago, Ben was diagnosed with cancer and underwent a surgery that resulted in his stomach being removed. I just looked back at the messages I received around that time and they were all very positive. Recovery was a challenge - he had to learn to eat a totally different way and his ability to care for his children and his garden were limited. I got the impression that being cared for rather than being the caregiver was quite an adjustment.
Perhaps some of you were more aware of his situation than I, as the memorial announcement stunned me. Ben was 49 years old.
There was a memorial today in New York, and another scheduled for next Sunday, July 8, at 3 pm at All Saints Episcopal Church, 504 North Camden Drive, Beverly Hills, California. The announcement says that all are welcome and there is no need to RSVP.
Nan
