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Fall woes

Dear Listmembers:
   I have a variety of fall gardening questions. I am in Zone 7 of North
Carolina. Some of my woes are self-inflicted. For a number of reasons, I
was not able to pinch back and prune my plants at appropriate times in
the spring/early summer.  Spider mites took over earlier in the summer
and pruned leaves but not length. Legginess and flopping are the rule
this fall. I would like to add that we are woefully short of rain. I try
to water deeply once a week.
1) Roses: I have 3 Jackson and Perkins: Baronne Prevost, Gertrude Jekyll
and some other David Austen variety. All are long, spindly, pathetic and
have had scant blooms. Can I whack off the miserable long spikes now? I
don't anticipate a hard freeze for 3-4 months, if then. I am a good
coverer.
2) Asters...lots of them...but I apparently went nuts rooting a
particularly pinky pink that is clashing everywhere. Can I move them now
or do I just continue to be visually offended??
3) Unidentified sedum. Very pale pink. It is one of the few plants that
I pinched and sheared this spring. It is the floppingest darn thing!! I
read on this list that you can just stick cuttings in the ground and
they will root. Unfortunately, it worked. However, it is COVERED with
bees and butterflies comepared to Ruby Glow and others so I hate to
ditch it entirely. Any help ID'ing it? Any pruning schedule for next
year?
4) Tradescantia (spiderwort). I have been guilty of actually BUYING
them. I have since learned. I hate to just throw them out. I have about
20 different colors. And a million plants. How does one live with them??
I have a large (15' X 60') daylily border. Could I move them all there?
They would bloom before and after the daylilies and then their crappy
yellow dying foliage that has to be cut back would be hidden by the
blooming daylilies.
5) Lily "Casablanca"....some leftover 6' branches. Can they be cut off??
6) Phlox "David" seem to be extremely tall with no one around them 
hiding their scrawny bases. Still blooming. Any suggestions for good
companion plants??
7) Tall-bearded iris: eben though I haven't divided and moved all my own
yet I was wondering if it is too late to order from any catalogs??
Thanks for indulging me this long post. Answers to any or all would be
welcome.
Sarah in NC
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