Re: WINTERIZE YOUR LAWN

Oh, this is wonderful!!!!  Can I send it on to my friends???  Can I send it
to be published in one of the mags that I contribute to?

Nan
_______
> WINTERIZE YOUR LAWN
>
> "Winterize your lawn," the big sign outside the garden store commanded. I've
> fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a lot of it die anyway.
> Now I'm supposed to winterize it?  I hope it's too late.  Grass lawns have
> to be the stupidest thing we've
> come up with outside of thong swimsuits!  We constantly battle dandelions,
> Queen Anne's lace, thistle, violets, chicory and clover that thrive
> naturally, so we can grow grass that must be nursed through an annual
> four-step chemical dependency.
>
> Imagine the conversation The Creator might have with St. Francis about this:
>
> "Frank you know all about gardens and nature.  What in the world is going on
> down there in the Midwest?  What happened to the dandelions, violets,
> thistle and stuff I started eons ago?  I had a perfect, no-maintenance
> garden plan.  Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and
> multiply with abandon.  The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracted
> butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds.  I expected to see a vast
> garden of colors by now.  But all I see are these green rectangles."
>
> "It's the tribes that settled there, Lord.  The Suburbanites.  They started
> calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great extent to kill them and
> replace them with grass."
>
> "Grass?  But it's so boring.  It's not colorful.  It doesn't attract
> butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms.  It's temperamental
> with temperatures.  Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing
> there?"
>
> "Apparently so, Lord.  They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green.
> They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant
> that crops up in the lawn."
>
> "The spring rains and cool weather probably make grass grow really fast.
> That must make the Suburbanites happy."
>
> "Apparently not, Lord.  As soon as it grows a little, they cut it -
> sometimes twice a week."
>
> "They cut it?  Do they then bale it like hay?"
>
> "Not exactly, Lord.  Most of them rake it up and put it in bags."
>
> "They bag it?  Why?  Is it a cash crop?  Do they sell it?"
>
> "No, sir.  Just the opposite.  They pay to throw it away."
>
> "Now let me get this straight.  They fertilize grass so it will grow.  And
> when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?"
>
> "Yes, sir."
>
> "These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the
> rain and turn up the heat.  That surely slows the growth and saves them a
> lot of work."
>
> "You aren't going believe this Lord.  When the grass stops growing so fast,
> they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to
> mow it and pay to get rid of it."
>
> "What nonsense!  At least they kept some of the trees.  That was a sheer
> stroke of genius, if I do say so myself.  The trees grow leaves in the
> spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer.  In the autumn they fall
> to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and
> protect the trees and bushes.  Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to
> enhance the soil.  It's a natural circle of life."
>
> "You better sit down, Lord.  The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle.  As
> soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and have them
> hauled away."
>
> "No!  What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and
> keep the soil moist and loose?"
>
> "After throwing away your leaves, they go out and buy something they call
> mulch.  They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves."
>
> "And where do they get this mulch?"
>
> "They cut down trees and grind them up."
>
>
>  >>
>
>---------------------------------------------------------------------
>To sign-off this list, send email to majordomo@mallorn.com with the
>message text UNSUBSCRIBE PERENNIALS

**********
'''''''''''''''''''''''
Nan Sterman
San Diego County California
Sunset zone 24, USDA hardiness zone 10b or 11

---------------------------------------------------------------------
To sign-off this list, send email to majordomo@mallorn.com with the
message text UNSUBSCRIBE PERENNIALS
Other Mailing lists | Author Index | Date Index | Subject Index | Thread Index