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this is so good I had to pass it on

 If  Noah had lived in the United States in the year 2000 the story may
 have gone something like this:
 
 And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In one year, I am going to make
it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is
destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every
kind of living thing on earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build
an ARK.  in a flash of lighting, God delivered the specifica-tions for
the Ark.  In fear and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build
the Ark. "Remember, said the Lord, you must complete the Ark and bring
everything aboard in one year."
 
 Exactly one year later, fierce storm clouds covered the earth and all
the seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord saw that Noah was
sitting in his front yard weeping.  "Noah"! He shouted, "Where is the
Ark"?
 "Lord, please forgive me," cried Noah. "I did my best but there were
big problems." 
 
 "First, I had to get a PERMIT for construction, and your plans did not
 meet the building codes.  I had to hire an engineering firm to re-draw
 your plans."  "Then I got into a big fight with OSHA over whether or
not the Ark needed a sprinkler system and approved flotation devices." 
 
 "Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances
by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from
the city planning commission."  "Then, I had problems getting wood for
the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the spotted
owl. I finally convinced the US Forest Service that I really needed the
wood to save the Owls. 
 
 However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let me take the two owls."
 "The carpenters formed a union and went on strike.  I had to negotiate
a settlement with the NLRB before anyone would even pick up a saw or a
 hammer. Now, I have 66 carpenters on the ark, but still no owls." 
 
 "When I started rounding up the other animals, an animal rights group
sued me.  They objected to me taking only two of each kind aboard.  This
suit is pending!" "Meanwhile, the EPA notified me that I could not
complete ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your
proposed flood! They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had
no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the Universe." 
"Then, the Army Corp of Engineers demanded a map of the proposed flood
plain.  I sent them the globe." 
 
 "Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the EEOC
that  I am practicing discrimination by not taking atheists aboard."
"The IRS seized my assets, claiming that I am building the ark in
preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes."  "I just got a
notice from the state that I owe them some kind of user fee and failed
to register as a 'recreational water craft'".
 
 "And finally, the ACLU got to the courts to issue an injunction against
 further construction of the ark, saying that since GOD is flooding the
 earth, it's a religious event and, therefore, unconstitutional."  "I
 really don't think that I can finish the ark for another five or six
 years."  Noah waited. 
 
 The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine, and the seas began to
 calm.  A rainbow arced across the sky.  Noah looked up hopefully. "You
 mean you are not going to destroy the earth, Lord?"  "No", He said
sadly.
 "I don't have to. THE GOVERNMENT ALREADY HAS".
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