God's Talk with St. Francis

Here is the story I used at the Grower's Seminar last weekend. Enjoy. Dave McCallum
Conversation between God and St. Francis Assisi
 
GOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there? What happened to dandelions, violets, thistles and stuff that I started aeons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abondon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attract butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colours by now. But all I see are those green rectangles.
St. Francis: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling you flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
God: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colourful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and earthworms. It's tempermental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
St. Francis: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
God: The spring rains and warm weather probably make the grass grow really fast. That must make the homeowners happy.
St. Francis: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it sometimes twice a week.
God: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?
St. Francis: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
God: They bag it? why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
St. Francis: No Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
God: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize the grass so it will grow. And when it does grow they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
St. Francis: Yes, Sir.
God: These earthlings must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
St. Francis: This will be hard to believe, Lord. When the grass stops growing, they drag out hoses and pay more to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
God: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a blanket to keep moisture in and protect the trees and bushes. As they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. A natural circle of life.
St. Francis: You had better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.
God: No. In winter how do they protect shrub and tree roots and keep the soil moist and loose?
St. Francis: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.
God: And where do they get this mulch?
St. Francis: They cut down trees and grind them up to make  the mulch.
God: Enough! St. Catherine, What movie is scheduled for us tonight?
St. Catherine: "Dumb and Dumber" Lord. It's a real stupid movie about...........
God: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.   
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