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Micro-silly joke


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>  
>  INSTRUCTIONS FOR MICROSOFT'S NEW TV DINNER PRODUCT
>  
>  You must first remove the plastic cover.  By doing so you agree to
>  accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners.  You may not
> give
>  anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an
>  infringement of Microsoft's rights).  You may, however, let others
>  smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how
> good it
>  is.
>  
>  If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set
>  the oven using these keystrokes: \mstv.dinn.//08.5min@@50%heat//
>  
>  Then enter: ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme.
>  
>  If you want your dinner cooked in any way other than standard,
> consult
>  the accompanying 35 pound document package for options. If you are
>  unable to read the document (it's in Ancient Greek), call Microsoft's
>  Technical support service.  For a fee, they will explain to you why
>  you really want to use the default cooking method.
>  
>  If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start. The oven
>  will set itself and cook the dinner.  If you want to cook it any way
> other
>  than standard - forget it.
> 
>  If you have a Unix oven, insert the dinner, enter the ingredients of
> the
>  dinner (mostly found on the package label, except for a few that all
>  experienced Unix oven users are assumed to already know about), the
>  weight of the dinner in units of the equivalent number of molecules
> of
>  heavy water, and the desired level of cooking and press start. The
>  oven will calculate the time and heat and cook the dinner exactly to
> your
>  specification.  If you want to cook it any way other than standard,
>  look for the nearest experienced user and ask them - there's no
>  documentation available.
>  
>  Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case your
>  oven must be restarted.  This is a simple procedure.  Remove the
> dinner
>  from the oven and enter ms.nodamn.good/tryagain\again/again.crap.  
>  This process may have to be repeated.  Try unplugging the microwave
> and
>  then doing a cold reboot. If this doesn't work, contact your hardware
>  vendor.
>  
>  Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger
>  than the dinner itself, having many useless compartments, most of
>  which are empty.  These are for future menu items.  If the tray is
> too large
>  to fit in your oven you will need to upgrade your equipment.
>  
>  Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the
> chicken
>  variety is currently produced. If you want another variety, call
> 1-800-MIC-  HELP and they will explain that you really don't want
> another
>  variety. Microsoft Chicken is all you really need.
>  
>  Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller versions of
>  their chicken dinners.  Future releases will only be in the larger
>  family size.  Excess chicken may be stored for future use, but must
> be
>  saved only in Microsoft approved packaging.
>  
>  Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner after '98. However,
>  that version has yet to be released. Users have permission to get
> thrilled
>  in advance.
>  
>  Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in the
>  freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost. This is a feature, not
> a bug.
>  Your freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway.
>  
> 
>
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