Re: Annual Pumpkin Regatta

Mark,
   You pose an interesting question on how to properly arm a combat type
pumpkin vessel. I would think a full term Zucchini tipped with an M-80 could
deal a lethal strike. Maybe we need to form a Skunkworks department to conduct
top secret research on maximizing the offensive and defensive capabilities of
the Atlantic Giant Cucurboat. What would happen if Gus Saunders' band of Merry
Men decided to swoop down Lake Ontario with a pumpkin armada armed to the
teeth. They could take poor Joe C. and the Oswego boys without ever firing a
zucchini torpedo. It would be a sad day  in the annals of American Naval
Warfare. Topsfield ,on the other hand, would be a much tougher foe. The Swamp
Yankees are trained in guerilla warfare, hiding behind their tractors and
rototillers, and would be much more difficult to take out. May I suggest that
the East and West coast growers should get together at the earliest possible
time and form a battle plan. I suggest the initial talks should involve the
East and West because the East has the only seasoned pumpkin pilots in the
world and the West has long been known for their military think tanks. The
growers in the midwest will be incorporated as soon as we come up with our
battle plan for the Midwesterners have demonstrated the ability to grow a
stout pumpkin that we may be able to use for destroyers. If Gus and Al Eaton
teamed up , they could travel West and be in Lake Michigan and Gary Keyzers
back yard before you know it. What I am saying is, there are few places safe
in the U.S. from a Canadian attack. It is time to take action ....BE
PREPARED!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now so far, Gus Saunders has been a fairly peace loving
individual. What happens if he snaps and turns bad. He could assemble a war
fleet in 130 days!! A scarey thought. Maybe I am an alarmist, but in order to
insure that future generations of young americans can peacefully navigate
their cucurboats, it is imperative to walk softly and carry a big zucchini. I
better end this before the men in the white coats come for me.
                                                   pumkinguy@aol.com  
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